thoughts and feelings

venting

I'm so sick of this. Sick of people coming in my life to use me. People that just want me to toy with. People that pity me. People that don't care.

I had made plans with five different
people. And those five people decided I wasn't worth their time and they'd rather be with someone else. I don't even blame them. Who the hell would actually want to be with me? His words are lies even though I love they way they stick to me like lyrics to our favorite songs and how he calls me when he goes on walks late at night and I can hear the sound of crickets chirping but now the only thing I hear is my own thoughts screaming at me, and tearing me apart.

I think back to what people have called me. Worthless. Faggot. Piece of shit. Good for nothing. Go slit your wrists.
Just kill yourself.

I can't even sleep anymore. I'll wake up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my cheeks and sweaty palms. I'm scared to sleep but the worse thing is that what a face in the day is just as bad as my nightmares. I'm so tired, not just physically, but mentally. I'm tired of living.

I'm done,
treeland