1. after the fall of you two, you'll try to get his attention all the damn time. you will laugh louder, smile bigger, and pretend nothing is bothering you just because you think he will come back if you act like you never cared because god knows you wanted him to come back even though he never cared. anyway, don't do that, there is no good in faking your happiness. if you're sad, be sad. the fake happiness will be a waste of time. he's not coming back.
2. he is probably thinking about you, but in the worst way. he will think about the sexy photos you sent him, not the sweet innocent selfie spams. he will think about the feeling of your hand down his pants, not about the caring gentleness of your hand rested on his face. i'm sorry he's doing that now.
3. if you think everything is your fault, it's not. remind yourself of the times when you needed him most and he wasn't there. do not ask wether or not you should have done something differently. if it was supposed to work out, you guys wouldn't of had to try so hard.
4. his family does still ask about you, they are reminding him of what he lost. does that make you feel better? i hope it does, they loved you more than he could ever imagine.
5. you don't need to put on more makeup or act a different way when it's over. he fell in love with who you were in the first place. do not change, do not change, do not change.
6. if you need to cry, please do not always do it alone. your sadness is not a burden and if others are getting tired of your sadness, leave them. you deserve people who understand. you should go to your mother, she has been through it before. she will fully care. she will understand.
7. do not text him when you feel like you cannot breathe. do not write him letters or give any to him that you may have written. you cannot locate the care he once gave you. it has been taken off of the map he once drew you. yes, the pencil marks are still there, but it has since been erased and that is all that matters.
8. if you have a chance to hold hands or kiss another boy, do it. you don't need to forget the feeling of him, but it will help. just don't do anything more than that or you will regret it because there is nothing more innocent than two lips meeting for the first time and warm hands interlocked together.
9. try to keep yourself busy, this one is something that is said so many times but it helps. side note: when you realize you haven't thought about him all day, you will cry more at night. you will think about more memories that you thought you forgot. let it hurt and then sleep it away for a new day.
10. this one is probably the hardest one to follow, but it's also the most refreshing thing and helpful thing. clean your room and light a candle right before you sleep. keep your door closed that way your room traps all the scent. wash your sheets. that memory of you two cuddling in your bed won't be erased just because your sheets smell fresher and feel softer. when you wake up, the smell of your candle will be so lovely and new. make your bed, it will feel like you are a new person.
10. it will hurt like hell and you will always have questions that will never be answered because your mind will make up more and more as time goes on, but i promise you, it will get easier. the pain will not subside, but your heart will get used to it. i know that it feels weird that he was your home and now you have to pack up all your furniture and rip out the carpet and paint all the walls white but a blank canvas only screams "new art" so let it be blank for a while until you find a new color. and don't just pick up the next color that looks good with the one you already have, pick up the color that will complement yours and make it feel something. time goes on, and so will you. i don't know why, but this particular saying always helped me -if it will be, it will be. do not mistake salt for sugar.
