Forbidden to Fall

Innocence

"What?"

"You want to know what I'm thinking, right?"

I nod as he rises to his feet. He stares down at me and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Then tell me what you're not saying."

"How do you kn-"

"Don't bullshit me. You're hiding just as much as I am."

Probably more than you are.

I stand as well, hoping that being on my feet will make him less intimating. But it only makes me realize how much taller than me he is. I stare at his chest, avoiding his eyes and remembering what it felt like to be held by him.

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me what's on your mind, at this exact moment."

My face gets hot and though I can't see myself, I know I'm blushing.

You want honesty?

"I just realized how tall you are and I'm intimidated by you. I can't look you in the face because it makes me think of things I don't want to think about."

Mitch lets his arms drop back down to his sides and inhales sharply. Maybe he expected me to put up more of a fight.

"I guess it's my turn."

He runs his hand through his tousled hair, his green-grey eyes avoiding mine.

"I'm jealous Cole gets you so easily because he should've had to fight for you. You don't owe him anything. I wanted to know you. I wanted to fall for you again."

"Again?"

"Forget about it."

I can't do that.

"I can't do that. What did you mean by again?"

I shuts his eyes like he's trying to go back in time and starts to explain.

"You and I were at a party freshman year. It was a few weeks before prom at Sarah's house."

I tried to remember. My brain filtered through the forgotten memories stored in the back of my head. I don't remember yet.

Please keep talking.

"Half the school was there because her sister, a senior, invited everyone. They were playing games. Some of the younger kids got dragged into one. Spin the bottle."

Little fractures of memory started to come together like a jigsaw puzzle.

"My big brother forced me to play. After the first few spins, he told everyone it was my turn. He picked the dare for me and made me spin the bottle."

The dare his brother had chosen was seven minutes in heaven. I remember that. I didn't know Mitch's name then, but he was embarrassed. The bottle landed on me. That's all I remember.

Because I was drunk.

"It landed on you. Sarah got mad and stormed off while Joseph shoved us in her parents bedroom. You didn't know me, but you weren't nervous."

Liquid courage. That's what alcohol does for me.

"You sat on the bed and patted the spot next to you-"

Suddenly everything came back to me. All the things I did that night hit me like a brick to the face. How could I forget?

"Come on, I don't bite," I tell him. The boy looked cute all pink in the face, but he was nervous. His brother forced him to play, maybe he's never done anything like this before. He slowly walks over and sits down beside me. I turn to him to get a better look. I realize he's not  just cute, he's beautiful. His dark brown hair went off in every direction, and his eyes were a soft, sad looking green.

"My name is Emma, what's yours?"

He smiles kindly and shakes my outstretched hand.

"I'm Mitchell."

"You've never played this game before, have you?"

He shakes his head furiously. He really is sweet. I feel bad that he was dragged into this.

"Should we make our own game then?"

"No. I can do this."

"Are you sure?"

He hesitantly nods and the only thing I want is to protect him from everything I know.

"Okay."

He puts his hands on my shoulders and I giggle.

"No silly, like this."
 
I take his shaking hands and move them to my waist. Then I put one hand on his shoulder and with the other I cup his cheek. With a face like his I assumed he's already kissed tons of girls. But he says that he's never kissed anyone before. So I give him some tips. Then,

"Close your eyes," I tell him.

He listens but he's still too nervous.

"You can trust me."

I keep my hand still but I brush my thumb back and fourth across his cheek a few times. His shoulders relax and his breathing deepens. I slowly press my lips to his and he unintentionally tightens his grip on my hips. He smelled like roses and honey and tasted like peppermint. He was good for someone that has never kissed another person. He slides a hand around to the small of my back and places the other on the side of my face, pulling me against him. I lace my fingers in his hair and then he gently bites my lower lip. I gasp.

"I'm sorry," he whispers as he lets go of me. There's no way that was his first kiss.

"It's okay," I say.

His brother Joseph knocks on the door.

"Time's up, love birds!"

Mitchell stands and I stop him before he walks away.

"Wait, they're expecting more from you. Let me just..."

He turns bright red, looking away as I  take off my bra to give him as proof.

"Also-"

I rough up his hair, and it doesn't make too much of a difference, but it helps. As I move around a few pieces of hair he whispers in my ear.

"Thank you."

He walks out to his brother who starts celebrating with friends. But I stay standing in the room, feeling as if I've been glued in place.

I remembered everything.