Forbidden to Fall

Tell Me Everything

Why did I forget that?

I run my fingers across my lip, speechless. Mitch takes one look at my face and he knows everything. He knows I know everything. My face is red, I can feel it.

"You remember..."

"Um, yeah."

"Do you understand now?"

I nod and everything about him changes. I hadn't noticed but he was nervous. Not having to explain all of that must be a big relief for him.

How could I ever forget that?

He hides his face in his hands, sighing heavily.

Is he really the same Mitchell?

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

He peeks at me through his fingers.

"For what?"

"Forgetting..."

With another sigh he shoves them into his pocket.

"It was four years ago. I didn't expect you to remember."

Do you still taste like peppermint?

Why am I thinking of that? What is happening to me? I try to purge my brain of those strange thoughts, but it's been so long and they won't go away. If Cole was here I'd take my emotions out on him.

But he's not. Mitch is.

"I didn't know it would impact you like that."

"You were my first kiss. Of course it would impact me," he says with a chuckle.

"If I would've known it would have turned you into a cocky bastard, I would have refused!"

"Yeah right, you thought I was irresistible. Admit it."

Okay.

"You were irresistible. You were cute and sweet and innocent..."

He gives me a funny look, turning pink in the cheeks. He didn't expect me to say that.

"What's wrong? Still embarrassed?"

The blushing boy suddenly vanishes and is replaced by a dangerous smirk.

"Nope. I've just realized you've got a crush."

I roll my eyes.

"Bite me," I say.

He takes a step towards me.

"Careful what you wish for, babe."

"You're not gonna-"

Before I can finish speaking, Mitch's body is pushing mine, backing me against the wall. His hot breath tickles my skin and his teeth graze my shoulder as he opens his mouth, then bites into my neck. I say nothing, do nothing, it's like I'm paralyzed. My heart skips a beat, making me light-headed, but it's already over. He's looking at me devilishly. His eyes are glistening with the same longing I've felt my entire life.

"I wasn't expecting that."

I need you.

"You shouldn't underestimate people."

He's looking at the ground but my eyes can't leave his.

"What are you thinking?" I ask him.

"I think I should keep my thoughts to myself."

"That's fine. I'll be in my room if you change your mind."

I quickly walk away from him and into my bedroom. He's trying to be a good person and I was five seconds from using him like I used Cole.

But if I really like him is it still considered "using him"?

I don't know how to answer my own question. I sit in my windowsill watching the wind shake the trees, attempting to understand how I've turned into this. I can hear the TV in the living room as I tuck my knees into my chest. It's then I realize I'm biting my lip again.

"That's a bad habit"

It's your fault.

It is his fault. I'd never done it before that night. I can't keep my mind from going back to that moment. There are so many things I need to know.

"Emaline?"

I glance in the direction of the voice. Mitch is standing there, leaning against the door frame. I wave him in. He sits in the opposite side of the window and looks at me. I'm the one to break the silence.

"What is it?"

"I need to know..."

His voice is quiet and every syllable sounds weak. He pauses to try to pull himself together.

"I need to know how you feel about Cole."

"I don't know him. I can't have feelings for someone I barely know."

"Then why did you-"

"I don't like him. I know this might sound terrible but I just wanted to feel something. He was there and I needed an outlet. I'm sorry."

He throws his head back and covers his face with his hands. With his expression hidden I don't know how he feels.

"Why him?"

"It could've been anyone, he was just there."

"Can I ask for a favor?"

I try to read him, but his posture is just too closed. He's trying to keep me from knowing.

"Yes."

Mitch finally sits up straight, showing his face. He looks me in the eyes and my heart stops.

"Use me as your outlet from now on."