十五 | fifteen

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"baek sooyun. 19 years old. depression, anxiety, slight OCD, suicidal, mourning. 952nd session."

"it's quite a shame she had to go so soon," seokjin nods. "hopefully your grandma is having a fun time up there."

"or down there," sooyun mutters, but seokjin doesn't hear.

everyone else introduces themselves. yoongi has a doctor's appointment and wasn't able to make it. which doctor, sooyun doesn't know. all she knows is that it would take up the whole of group therapy time.

"let's continue then, shall we?" seokjin claps.

sooyun knew it would be boring without yoongi.

-

yoongi
i'm in the parking lot

sooyun exits the community center and sees yoongi leaning against the outer wall.

"hey," she greets.

"hi," he says back. "um, about your grandma.."

sooyun stiffens. "yeah? what about her?"

"it's just," he begins. "it's a shame really. it was so sudden too."

"yeah, well life can change in an instant. it depends on the choices you make before it."

yoongi just nods. "did she suffer?"

sooyun shakes her head. "no. that's the only good part."

"how's your aunt coping?"

"she's trying her best."

yoongi sighs. "god, i'm so sorry about your grandmother-"

sooyun's head snaps up at yoongi.

shít shít shít. yoongi panics as he thinks of what to say. "i mean," he continue, "i'm sorry for not driving you there."

"yoongi," sooyun starts, "i'm already dealing with 3/5 of the baek family dead. do you really want to drive a a fourth one to the same fate?"

"no, i'm sorry, i didn't mean it," he quickly says.

"then what's the point with apologizing for something you didn't even do? why do we need to pile more onto our plates? the more we fill up with, the closer we are to exploding. and yoongi, i'm telling you," her voice lowers, "one day i'm going to blow up and end it all. and that day might come sooner than you think."

"sooyun, i've already apologized-"

"for what? for driving me insane? yoongi, you know i'm thankful for everything you've done, but you're also making me feel like a burden. like a weight around your ankle. you're constantly pulling me around and keeping me up and it makes me feel worthless," she outburst as she paces back and forth.

"i appreciate everything you've done, yoongi," she says, her voice quiet. "but it makes me feel useless. it makes me feel like i'm so weak i have to rely on someone else to do things for me. jesus, i can't even pay rent for your apartment so you're paying my share."

"i'm trying to help you out sooyun-"

"i know," she interrupts. "and it's sickening of how i can't repay you. my life is already falling apart in front of my eyes."

"no," she cuts him off. "thanks, but no. i don't need your help, because i'm proving the doctors wrong. i'm never getting better." with that, she walks off.

"sooyun, wait!" yoongi runs after her. hearing his footsteps behind her, sooyun starts sprinting away.

yoongi eventually loses her. he runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he crouched on the ground, and he can't help but fight back the tears threatening to fall.

yoongi returns back to his empty apartment and throws his phone on the floor, plopping himself on the couch.

as he closes his eyes, his phone buzzes and he jolts awake, falling off the couch to check his notification.

sooyun
yoongi, i have to confess that my sentences are getting longer by the minute, and there's no stopping how much i say in one go

-

I'm not making sense anymore and I'm bad at writing angst which is basically this whole book so wofndkfmek

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~ -yoongied-

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