Save Me

Chapter 25: The Beginning of the End

Trigger Warning

Erika
They check to see if you got out of bed. They check to see if you brushed your teeth, if you showered. Basically everything a normal person should be capable of doing, they come to check. I guess they know that the tasks become impossible.

A nurse comes in every so often to make sure that you're up and ready for the day. She walks you to the cafeteria and you take the seat farthest away from anyone else, because you don't want to talk to anyone. Everyone competes for one of the tables with only two seats. The line for breakfast gets long quickly, because you're eager to eat and get a few moments away from the low thoughts.

Or at least that's been my morning routine for the past few days.

I've been in this place for three days.

I went back to my room and waited for Jacob to visit me. We usually meet twice a day, once after breakfast and once right before dinner. I checked my computer and responded quickly to emails from my friends and family. I kept my responses short and to the point, not wanting them to worry anymore than they should.

I refreshed my email, hoping to see if he sent me one. But of course all emails were read already. I shouldn't get my hopes up like that. He's gone and it's for the better. But it didn't make the hurt go away.

I looked at the wall against the bed that was decorated with many pictures of my friends and family. The nurse insisted I put them on the wall as something to remind me of home. I missed my family so much, but I was glad they were getting a break from me. At least they had some well-deserved breathing room.

After an infinite amount of time passed, a knock echoed on the door before it swung open. Instead of Jacob, however, Chris came in. I'm sure he noticed that I wasn't expecting him.

"You look confused. Well, um, my dad had other business to deal with today. So I'm filling in for him." I nodded in understanding. "Well, um, did you eat? Brush your teeth? Do all that stuff?" I nodded again. "I see you and the nurse put up all your pictures. We can talk about those today, if you'd like."

Well, it's certainly a lot easier to do than talk about my flaws and shortcomings.

Chris went to stand next to me and we took in the many pictures decorating the wall. He pointed to one. "Who's in this one?"

"That's my best friend Blair and I," I stated.

"What about this one?"

"My aunt and uncle."

"This one?" He asked, pointing to one of the pictures Lucas and I took. It was at my birthday party.

"Lucas," I tried to say as level as possible. Chris noticed the uneasiness, unfortunately. He thought a little before speaking again.

"Who's Lucas?" I didn't know the answer to that question. I mean, we weren't together anymore, obviously, and we weren't on the friendliest of terms either. "Ex-boyfriend?" He guessed and all I could do was nod.

"Let's sit and chill to get started," he suggested. I sat on the bed and he sat in an adjacent chair. Every time in the past, we would sit down and exchange the most awkward small talk ever. The "progress" we were making was a stagnant thing—Jacob and Chris trying to cajole the limit and me pulling it back. "Are you feeling more comfortable here?"

"I feel like I'm in prison," I told him bluntly.

"Prison?"

"I've already been fighting my own mind and now I get to do it in the comfort of this unfamiliar place that reeks of sadness. Now I'm talking to a therapist who doesn't deserve to waste his time and listen to my problems," I snapped. "I'm sorry!" I told him immediately, my eyes wide.