Zugzwang

Chapter 10

        After a lot of shots later, Chris, Scott, one of his female friends, and I were laughing about the slightest things. We sat in a triangle, facing each other.

        “You guys are amazing.” I giggled, pointing at Scott and Chris and Scott’s lady friend. I didn’t bother to learn her name. They laughed and I stood up. Scott and the girl were going at it. “It’s time for me to sleep for the night!” I yelled and stomped my way up to my room.

        “I’ll be going too, have fun you two.” Chris said, trailing off and silently running upstairs.

        The door to my room opened and Chris tackled me. I squealed and fell to the floor. Chris’ face fell close to mine as he climbed on top of me. He smiled and I rested my hands on his neck, pulling his face closer. My heart was racing and Chris’ lips collided with mine. I felt the same spark as I felt the last time we kissed. Without breaking the kiss, Chris lifted me up and laid me gently on the bed. I pulled his body closer so our bodies were touching.

               The touch of his fingertips on my skin made me eager to continue. I looked up at him, seeing the lust in his green eyes made me feel like I had succeeded in something. As he kissed my neck, I ran my fingers through his hair. He smelt weakly like axe. The perfect amount, actually. The only thing I could hear was the music Scott must’ve started playing. It was slow and calming, changing the atmosphere for Chris and I.

        Chris slowly kissed almost every inch of my body. His lips felt like amazing against my skin. I pulled off his shirt and he did the same for me. His hands traveled from my chest to my pants. I looked up at Chris and his face was starting to morph into another’s. I tried ignoring it but couldn’t when his face turned into Mason’s. A sudden flashback from yesterday hit me.

        I quickly pushed off Chris me and stood up from my bed. The most confused look slapped Chris in the face. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He asked, wrapping his arms around me.

        I put my hands on his chest and tried not to cry. “This is all happening too fast. And we’re drunk.” I said. I didn’t want him to know what actually happened. My heart was racing but not in the good way. Soon enough, it was getting hard for me to breathe.

        “No, something else is wrong. I can see it in your eyes, baby girl.” He held on to me tight and kissed the top of my head. “Talk to me about it.”

        I shook my head violently and started to sob. Chris took my hand and led me back to my bed. He sat down and patted the area in front of him. He held both my hands in his and stayed silent. Once I started to calm down, he asked again for me to explain. And I did. But I wouldn’t let him know Nick’s part in this. Just Mason’s.

        Chris and I laid in bed afterwards and he rubbed my back. Neither of us was wearing our shirts. “You’re amazing and I care so much about you.” He whispered softly into my ear.

I turned over to face him and blushed. I pulled my body against his and kissed his nose. I wanted to clear up my suspicions of him only being kind for pleasure. “You can’t come along and pretend you like me to use me, Chris.” I whispered, putting my hand on his chest. I could feel his muscles through his thin shirt.

            “Why would I ever do that to you, baby girl? You know I’m not like that.” He said, keeping his arms tightly around me. I could hear the deceit in his voice.

            “It’s who you are, Chris. We both know that.” I noticed I started to sound like Nick. Quickly, I backed away and got off my bed.