Insane Without You | A BTS Suga fanfiction- COMPLETE✅

Nineteen

Y/N's POV

I lazily walked to work, dragging my boots roughly on the hard pavement. I opened the door and said good morning to Halmeoni.

"Good morning dear, why do you look so pale, and why are there dark circles under your eyes, what happened?" Halmeoni scanned my face with a worried expression.

"Oh it's nothing, you know there's just a lot of work so ummmm hehe yeah, you don't need to worry Halmeoni." I said while nervously scratching my neck.

Halmeoni looked at me with an unamused expression crawling on her ancient face.

"Dear, please tell me what's actually worrying you, you know you seem like my own child to me, huhhh, but I've never had a child so..."
I gave up, I needed to vent to somebody about the situation I was in, maybe not the WHOLE situation, but just what's going on, I trust Halmeoni, she takes care of me and I have this type of almost motherly bond with her, so why not?

"I'm sorry Halmeoni, you know it's just that I've been living a tough life as I've probably told you, my friend- well not friend, but he wanted me to be his friend- anyways his name was Baekhyun and he just wanted to be my friend, and me being the cold and dumb person I am ignored him and called him a playboy and all that stuff, and that same day i-it came on the n-news that he d-died!" I then completely lost it and started sobbing and crying my heart out.
"I'm such a b-bad person *hiccup* Ha-Halmeoni please h-help me!"

"Y/N please don't cry! You're not a bad person! Everybody makes mistakes, it wasn't your fault, don't blame yourself, you were having a tough day so you didn't mean anything you said, I'm sure you didn't, it's not your fault don't cry dear!"

I hugged Halmeoni, she had a motherly essence radiating off of her, I felt better, but my heart was still hurting. Before I knew it, the store was open and I was serving customers. Eun Tak came in and she didn't look so happy, nor did her mother.

"Hey little princess, why the sad face?"
"Unnie, my-my older brother he went and will never visit me again!" At first I was confused so I  asked her where he went, she then replied with saying "m-mommy said he went up there" she pointed to the sky and then I understood. A wave of pain and sympathy ran over me. "His name was Baekhyun oppa, I miss him!"
I wanted to cry again, Halmeoni looked at me as if telling me it was okay, and to keep strong.
"Eun Tak, I'm sure he's in a h-happy place now, he's much happier, don't worry, he'll always be watching you."
"But h-how can he be happy without me unnie?"
"Of course he'll miss you princess, but he'll always be watching you and he'll always protect you."
She then smiled a bit and said "really unnie? I'm sure he would've loved a beautiful fairy like you, and then you could've got married like in those fairytales and take me out to magical places and buy everything I want and live a happy life with a happy ending. But I'm happy that he's happy and that he's always watching me, big bro I love you!!" She yelled while looking up.
A slight smile played on my lips as I looked at Eun Tak, I'm sorry Baekhyun, just forgive me please.

Time skip

I jumped on my bed remembering all the events of today and the past. I've learnt that the past is the past, it's supposed to be there, you can't change it, what happens HAPPENS and you can't change that, even if it's something terrible just learn to make your present good and positive, so that when time passes, the future you doesn't look at the present you and say 'I wish I could've done something better at that time.'

But even knowing all this and realising all this, I wanted to punish myself, so I took out my best friend, the knife and started cutting like a maniac. It's my addiction, cutting, some people like to drink while others smoke, but alcohol tastes disgusting and smoking makes your lungs hurt, there's nothing better than seeing the beautiful colour that only blood can hold. I cut nonstop until everything went black...

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A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry for not updating frequently!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 please do not cut or hurt yourself in any way! Love yourself, I do not promote self harm, again love yourself ok, byee❤️❤️❤️