FBI Damsel: Foreign Affairs

Four: Still in Wisconsin

“The girls aren’t so bad up here in the cold north,” Parker noted immediately after hanging up with Vaughn. He’d told them about the cracked window and the potential inside-man. As they walked towards the church parking lot a few girls smiled and waved at him and his partner. They already had a plan as how to get the man - or someone, at least, to talk to them. If all else failed, there was a plan B. Plan B was almost as good as Plan A. Not as dependable, but a lot more badass.

Eddie shrugged. “I’ve got a girlfriend now. Not like I even care.”

“Psh. You mean Brittany? Hardly what I’d call a girlfriend.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie asked.

“She’s a supermodel, bro. The chances of it lasting are... I don’t know what they are, but they’re not very good. I’m just looking out for you,” he answered truthfully.

Eddie pushed his best friend’s hand off his shoulder. “Whatever, dude. Leave the statistics about love and other nonsense to Martinez. I’ve got a real relationship going on and it’s not about to be ruined thanks to someone like you!”

“That actually hurt!” Parker held a hand over his heart. The deputy behind them tried to intervene.

Eddie held up his hand to silence him. “Hush, you! Parker, we’ve been good friends for a while, and the best wingmen for each other, too. However, we’re getting on in our years and my eight pack might not actually last forever, despite my dreams of being the only 80 year old that can still bench fifty pounds. It’s getting to be the time that we think of settling down - for real this time. Not just to be used as a pick-up line for a really hot chick that we wanna bang more than once.”

Parker’s jaw dropped. “Are you dumping me and the bar and all those beautiful chicks for Brittany?!”

Eddie nodded. “Yup. If you don’t like it, then you can deal.”

“What about ‘bro’s before hoes’?” Parker called after him.

“A bro doesn’t know how to-“

“Excuse me, but shouldn’t we-“

“Shut it!” Parker snapped. “What am I supposed to do on Friday and Saturday’s now? It’s not exactly easy for a brutha to get inside places in D.C. by himself! Are you no longer going to be my spotter at the gym, either? Are you gonna get fat on whatever food she attempts to cook? On the wine she insists you drink instead of light beer - which I know is your favorite!”

Eddie shrugged and continued walking again. “Like I said, looks like you’re SOL.”

“What? You’re really leaving me?” Parker stopped. They were maybe six yards from the church now. The window with the crack was visible, a pair of curious eyes gazing at them through it. That was probably their nervous guy waiting for his moment to talk to them.

“We really should keep quiet,” the deputy suggested.

“Don’t you have a plan B for another wingman?” Eddie hinted.

Parker nodded and slipped forward, the piece of paper in his hands. Eddie and the deputy ran around to the front, whistling loudly the entire time. Parker snuck below the window and slipped the note through the crack before somersaulting away to where Eddie and the deputy were waiting.

“Your success rate was always well before I came in the picture,” Eddie said.

Parker nodded, and kept the ‘argument’ going. “Why would I need another wingman? I had what I thought was a dependable friend that helped me to score better and more trophies than I had ever hoped for!”