the boy i am........isn't me (spanking)

t h r e e

lRead authors note at the button and look at the video

dedicated to Xxxblueeyesxxx11 for inspiring me to write a bit since I was lacking confidence in it. If you haven't read any of her stories, I advise you to do so right away :))

........

15 weeks left.

I shoot up from my bed, my heart pounding against my chest. I looked around and took a breath of relief. It was just a nightmare. I wipe the sweat that puddled on the edge of my forehead and glanced at my clock that laid next me. It read 3:30 in the morning and I soon realize that this was my second time waking up.I groaned and fell backwards into my white pillow.

"I hate my life." I mumbled to myself as I tried to go back into peaceful sleep. Minutes pass before I soon realized that I wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon since I was wide awake. I huffed in irration as I got out of my warm bed and headed downstairs into the pitch-black kitchen.

I turned on the lights, but instantly regreted it when the sudden light burned into my eyes. I closed them shut as a throbbing headache began to grow causing me to be more vex. My frustration instantly ranked up higher and I mumbled a few un-gentlemen like things under my breath. I squinted my blue eyes and stalked the footpath that takes me into the medicine cabinet.

When I was finally facing the cabinet I slide it open. I scanned through the medicines before my eyes landed on the ones I was looking for. I observed the ivory bottle that in big bold letters wrote Sleeping Pills. I placed them into my bare hand and twisted it open. As I did so it made a minor popping noise that was barely hear-able.

I tilted the bottle, causing multiple pills to land on my other awaiting hand. I put a few away, leaving only two pills. My hands fitted around it, keeping it secure as I then went to grab a glass cup before I headed to the sink and poured myself some water so i would be able to drown the pills down.

I raised my arm that contained the sleeping pills and popped them into my awaiting lips. Soon following behind it was my glass of water. The pills and water sank down my throat and I quickly put my cup away into the sink and shut the medicine cabinet before heading back into my own dull room.

I shut the door behind me before I jumped onto my messy bed and burying my head under multiple pillows. I stayed like this for a short while before the pills took effect and I could no longer hold my blue eyes open. before I knew it, my vision turned black and I was invited welcoming into a fantasy world that I wish where real.

Next morning.....

"Niall," someone whispered in my ear, shaking my limp body. I moaned and rolled away from the intruder, trying to go back into peaceful sleep. Sadly, I did not get my wishes when multiple smacks rained on my bottom . "Niall, get up!" The voice said sharply.

I sprang up and glared at the mystery person who dared to awake me. My eyes landed on a pair of bothered brown owns that glared back to me. It was Zayn. I scoffed and I could already predict this day was not going to go well. I did not want to wake up. When I wake up the monsters become alive and they whisper dark things in my head.

I would have told Zayn to fuck off usually, but I must remember I was not Niall Horan anymore. No one likes him, so I must act the oppsite of him right? Maybe only this can save the separating and fading friendship with Zayn and the rest of my dear band mates. Zayn and I do not seem to get along well anymore and its very bitter. The boys told me they would always be here for me, yet they diasppeared mentally from my life. They were not there the first time I slide a sharp metal object in my skin, causing blood to flow. They were not there-hell they did not notice when I began to starve myself. They were never there comforting me when hate started to grow. Never have they been on my side, they just turned against me once I was sucked into the dark. I was reaching and calling for them when I was drowning in hate, but of course they were too busy for me. I was not worth there time. They were only there when i did something bad. I was only spanked.