It was not until I finally left the darkness to understand why everyone seems to enjoy the light, life; its during the day of light when a person has to put a mask on and prove their "happiness" to the world, but during the night it is the devil's hour. Our inner monsters express themselves as they burst the emotions we hold everyday. They are welcomed to the space of loneliness to express the true coloring of their feelings, or they attempt to as must of us go into a restful slumber.
No one likes the darkness because no one wants to know themselves how screwed up their life is. We are our own liars, because even we do not want to admit to ourselves how badly this world could be. Life could do terrible things and its not until the pressure comes upon you, you finally understand that you can not escape the demons, but to accept the living hell that is life
Even I lie to myself of my own happiness for my sack, because no one just can not handle the truth. We only live for 100 years, so why would we want to live in sorrow knowing our life is shit.
In the end though, after all the fakeness we show and prove to ourselves, when you finally get enough to deicde to put your sorrows to the side then realize you need to release it, you look out to the night and see the beauty of it. Darkness and beauty. Quietness and peace. You are swallowed by the accepting paradise, and it becomes your dream for you to shut you're eyes forever just to be in its surroundings forever.
My life is not based on darkness, however my life wants to be swallowed by the dark paradise and watch over the shimmering earth as the fakeness washes away from everyone's convincing act.
Problems, such as mine, may not seem dark enough for your intentions, though I am not trying to convince you otherwise. This story is based on my own living hell that I blindly choose, imaging in the past it would be something like wonderland (realistic wise).
Wonderland is like a pleasuring drug that grasp your imagination, blinding you from reality. It is something that grew inside me, which I am happy for. I knew that if it never blossomed inside of me, I would realise how lonely I really am in this world.......
YOU ARE READING
the boy i am........isn't me (spanking)
Fanfictiontalks about life and death in a few chapters. Just basically a lonely person who wants to die, and makes a day when he plans to do suicide. He tries to understand why people enjoy being alive. (shitty description)
