the boy i am........isn't me (spanking)

B o n u s

Sucide notes # 14

Dear Everyone

Date: Unknown

I have been blown away by the rolling dust from the moutains, as I became nothing but a piece of paper that is only used momentarily before its nothing but trash and forgotten.

My apologizes all all here so:

I am sorry dad, I could not be something successful like a doctor, just like how you wanted

I am sorry mother for the broken heart I know you will feel, and knowing you, for making you question why I choose to end the path of life for myself

I am sorry Greg for we have been close since the starting of birth, watching each other grow side to side. You would have never believed this.

I am sorry god, for if you even exist. You were wrong. I am not strong, so stop trying to give me everything I wanted, like fame, and instead give me something I need.

Now everyone else:

I am sorry Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson

I hope I did not ruin the band.

I am sorry to the rest of my family and friends and to other that shall be unnamed

This is lame, but I wanted to ask everyone something that I tried so hard to know, but never achieved to find the whole answer:

I could say something cheesy like why is life so horrible, but I know part of it, yet I still do not know why.

For example why do we educate woman to defend themselves when a man is trying to rape them? Most of you might wonder why I would even ask that and others no I am not going to say we should teach men how to defend themselves from rape also

What we really need to be teaching men, listen up everyone and please let this sink into your brains, is to not rape a women and go to the source and start there. (A/N: credits to Kurt Cobain.)

This rant is going to be short since most of you are griefing. You may wonder why I am talking about rape and if you are worrying, I, Niall Horan, have not raped or been raped by human or animal kind.

Then I wondered: can you really blame them?

Life is a rapist

and its fucks us up in the ass.

(A/N CREDITS TO ME BECAUSE THAT WAS JUST AN AMAZING ANALOGY!)

.......

Niall stopped writing after that before signing at throwing his pencil in frustrations. It was too long and it was the worst one he wrote. It was just soo difficult to write nowadays

..............................

SORRY! ITS SHORT, I AM GOING TO POST A CHAPTER SOON BUT I REALL WANTED TO PUT THE LAST (ABOUT RAPE) PART IN THERE

COMMENT WHAT YOU THOUGHT (IF YOU LIKED IT TOO)

10+ VOTES FOR NEXT CHAPTER which I will make sure to be amazing and less depressing