Broken Pieces

Epilogue

There was once a time when I thought my life bored me and that nothing new happened except the same old things. This was the same time when I thought that I lived only for the sake of living. The same time I thought the great moments of my life were countable by one hand while the bad ones were too numerous to count.

Those thoughts are too wrong to me now. Those thoughts are now all old feelings. My life has taken a turn for the better and I have now rolled into new things. My life has changed for the better. The same old things have stopped happening long ago and only new things now do.

I no longer live for the sake of living. I now live for my future and every day I wake up alive and breathing.

I'd met Lucca Crawford, also known as Lucca West. I'd found a great friend in him. I'd begun my modeling journey there. In that journey, I met the man I had come to love than life. The man who helped me achieve what I thought unachievable.

Closure.

I've made friends that I never thought I would. They are friends that I hope to keep forever. I met Lucy and Katherine who have become closer to me than I ever thought. My life is far from boring now. There have been great moments and unpleasant events throughout the journey but I prevailed.

In the old times, I thought that the times I laughed and cried resonated around before my mother died and after she did respectively.

In that time, I thought that with the way I've so perfectly deeply hurt some people I cared about, then I'd a great skill in the art of hurting people. In that time, I believed that in as much as I meet people and let them in, then I would hurt and push them away because that's how I live — what I did best.

My strong friendship with Lucca, Adam, Kevin, Katherine, Andrea, Lucy proves that theory wrong. Even my fragile relationship with Xander and Kyle further disproves that. Also my budding friendship with Kyle's little sister, Alison nullifies the theory that I don't know how to keep a relationship which had been my reason for my old thinking. All because of Dex, who I've now repaired our relationship.

Back then, because of my biggest life changing experience, I learnt something and held unto it — to never let go — I let it cloud my mind and rule me. After I learnt that in life, nothing lasts forever, that a person's normal, mundane life can change in the blink of an eye, I decided to not take life at too much face value because of that one bad experience.

Because of a series of unforgettable events, I decided to just glide, unseeing, unfeeling through life because I didn't want to have something too important to me and then lose it mainly because nothing lasts forever and the pain from losing a cherished thing is too much to feel more than once. And after feeling it more than once, I began to close into myself until recently…  

No! I'm already deviating, let's go back to discussing my old feelings.

So, talking about my old feelings, in the old times, I use to have an overwhelming feeling. A feeling like the whole world was against me use to overtake every other feeling. But right now, all I feel is love, peace and contentment.

Drugs aren't the things helping me to sleep anymore. Nightmares are now a thing of the past. I no longer feel like ending my existence. I no longer feel like I only lived for my father who relied on me.

I've begun a new phase of my life. Begun it for a long time coming now. But now I'm going to be a mother and that's an exceptionally different level. And if I hadn't been sure before, my swollen belly, the presence of my family, friends, Caden's friends and family explained it. We are all having my baby shower and I'm truly happy.

I’m seven months pregnant and we decided to throw the party at our penthouse in New York so my dad could easily attend though I now resided in LA mostly.