What I Have Left

Ch.7

(Back to Noah)

I just got back home from Theo's house after he was done cleaning me up and his break down.  I can tell my feelings for him is also gradually increasing as the time is going on. It is as if I can't even breath correctly in his presence. My mind goes into a foggy state. I don't know what to do about it anymore.

I know I have no chance with him, but you can't help who you are falling for. It is like as they say the heart wants what the heart wants. All I am doing is trying to calm it down and not make it blatantly clear that I have strong feelings for him.

I also can't believe I talked . I haven't done that in years. My throat was hurting a little as I was speaking , but I also felt good letting some of my feelings out. It felt better then any cut that I have made in my skin. I know I probably won't be talking to anyone but Theo for now on. I know talking would make my parents happy, but I don't think I am ready for them yet. They don't even know I am gay , so talking and telling them that might send them into some sort of shock. 

They might also hate more for being gay. We never really talked about  who I like or anything because for one I don't talk that much so how would that even happen. There is just so much more to worry about than having that type of talk with them.

I walked up passed the living room where i saw my parents sitting there. We haven't been in much contact since what happened a couple days ago. It doesn't really bother me. I kinda like the peace.

I got to my room layed on my bed worn out from the day. My eyes were about to close when I heard my text notification go off. I saw that it was Theo. So me being the love sick puppy I am , I answered it right away.

Hey, do you want me to pick you up to got to school tomorrow?

I was shocked to say the least. I mean he said he would always stay by my side. i just didn't think it would be starting so fast. Now, I know I can trust Theo. He has been there for me now. He now knows about my darkest secret that no one else knows. I still don't know why I trust him so much, but I have the slightest feeling it is because my heart skips a beat every time we touch.

Sure. I responded to his text after a moment. I didn't want to look like I was waiting for him to contact me . After I sent the text I started to undress to my boxers and laid down in my bed.

I was out like a light by the time my head hit the pillow.

**** Next Day****

I had just finished my breakfast when I heard the doorbell ring. I immediately got up to answer it knowing it was Theo.

"Hey." They whispered shyly.

"H-hi" I said back to him in the same tone.

He eyes went wide from the suprise of me actually responding to him. " You talked back to me?" he said questioning if he heard me right.

I nodded "You shou-ld f-eel spe-cial." I don't know why I said it in the most flirty tone I could muster with my stuttering, but all I know is that I was blushing like a virgin 13 year old at a strip club.

I guess he noticed because he got a smirk on his lips and nodded his head toward the direction of his car." I guess I do feel special, very special." He said looking at me.

He flirted back.

Theo flirted back to me. Me . Oh lord.

Maybe this is all in my head , but I am going to pretend it isn't and be happy. I gladly got into the car as he was holding the door. He gave me his beautifu smile and got into his side. He turned up the radio as we were going to school. 

We didn't talk much only , but the silence was comforable. There was no need.

Once we got to school we both got out at the same time. We saw some of the students staring at us in confusion. I mean who could blame them. It wasn't like we were on such good terms two weeks ago and now he is taking me to school and walking me to the door.

Once inside we saw Cody standing by the office. Since there were some teachers and students around all he could do was glare. This was glare was much different than the others because it was directed to my Theo with so much hate.I don't know why I called him mine , but it seems to fit into my own little fantasy that we will date one day. Only one gay boy could dream , right?

I have never seen Cody look so hateful towards someone other than me. I just know this can't possibly be a good sign at all.

I guess Theo didn't seem to notice Cody's killer glare because he was talking to me like nothing could go wrong in the world."Hey Noah I got to get to class. I will see you at the end of the day okay." He must have seen my face wondering why not at lunch." I have a math makeup test at lunch." I nodded and went into my classroom.

School was boring throughout the day.  No one talked to me as always and I didn't see Cody , but I did see Marcus 'hittiing' on some cheerleader. That dumb twat thought flirting was telling a knock knock joke that invovle boobs knocking on a door. Lord help our society. The girl thought it was funny , so i guess in some sense his joke did work. They would work out I think. They were both stupid enough for each other.

After school I went looking for Theo. I tried calling his a couple times , but each time it would disconnect.  I went looking for him around the courtyard and some of his last classes , but Icouldn't find him anywhere. I waited by his car for at least ten minutes after my search. Something in the back of my mind told me something bad is happened to him. So taking on my gut feeling I did was I thought was the best way.

I ran back into the school to look for him again.

I know he didn't have soccor because the season hasn't started yet. So he wouldn't be on the field. I decided to check the next best thing. 

The locker rooms. Gosh why haddn't I thought of that the first time.

I ran into there and saw the gray lockers. I could smell sweat and dirty socks. Since the room is big and I looked though each corner it took me a minute. I heard a groan sound coming from the last sida wall in the room. When I got over there  I saw the worst thing have ever seen in all the years of my life.

Theo was on the floor beaten to a pulp and as naked as a new born baby, passed out. As I got closer I saw the words cocksucker written in  black marker on his chest . His eyes looked majorly swollenand he had brusies every part of him .

Theo had one eye open and his lips were parted. " Theo," I whispered.

************************

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and why?

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Undercover