Shattered

Breathe

Every morning he would walk with me to school, and later on, in the day, he would walk me back home. He never gave me my space, except for when I was at home without him. He wasn't allowed to come over because my parents didn't know about him. Even at home, I would have to be on the phone with him, or continually texting him. I never had some space. Every time I disappeared for an hour or more, all the threatening and insulting voicemails and messages would come rolling in. I had to go to sleep with him on the phone, or else he would get angry with me. No matter what I did, he would get mad at me. There was no way of avoiding his awful words, not at home, not at school, no way of avoiding it.

I would always have mini anxiety attacks if I fell asleep and the call ended or if he started getting frustrated and would stop responding. I was still anxious and shaking because of how scared and weak I was. I would sit on the bathroom floor and cry my eyes out and wonder how I got myself into this situation. I would ask God to have mercy and help me get out of this alive. Every day I stayed with him, the weaker and hopeless I became. The suicidal thoughts were always on my mind and felt like they were becoming a part of me. Each time I passed by our medicine cabinet, the more tempted I grew just to take all of the Metoprolol and just overdose, but I never dared to do so.

Damon knew how to make me fear him, and he made sure that I feared him every day, but I had enough of him and his terrible ways. I was ready to fight back and be set free. One night, Damon was overdoing it with his toxic words. I was crying non-stop and wished to be dead. I didn't want to speak to him; I just wanted to sleep, tomorrow I had to take a midterm at 8 am. He wouldn't let me sleep, so I had to stay up and speak to him. After an hour, or two, he felt like I was distant and he wanted to see me after school was over and talk to me tomorrow. From this, I knew it was over for me. I knew he wanted to end things, which meant the threatening/blackmailing was never going to end.

The next day at school, I showed up with no makeup on, red eyes and dark circles that could show the sleepless and stressful night I had. All day I tried my best to make sure I avoided him. I was in the cafeteria with Hazel and trying to explain to her that he is slowly killing me. I was hysterically crying in the cafeteria, which worried the students around the lunch ladies and me. I was so worried that he was going to find out that I've been crying all day, and torture me even more. I knew that I was not ready at all to face him after school.

When eight periods came to an end, my heart was pounding so fast, and hard. All I just wanted to do was die and not face Damon, but I had no choice. I walked out of chemistry and headed for the door and meet him in the front of the school. I knew I wasn't ready, and I was freaking out. As I walked out, there was a crowd of students, but in the distance, I saw him. I saw him glaring at me, and I could hear my heart just pounding.

"I heard you've been crying in school all day," exclaimed Damon with anger. "Do you understand how bad that makes me look?"

I had no idea how to answer him, so I stood there fearing for my life. "Are you going to answer me or not? Have you gone deaf?" I could see the anger in his eyes just piercing into my soul. "Stop being so distant with me. You know what will happen if you keep acting this way. Everyone thinks that I did something to you. STOP BEING LIKE THIS." He yelled so loud that everyone just stared at us. As soon as he yelled, he grabbed my arm and started walking away from the front of the school. From the crowd, all I could hear was, "DAMON!" When I looked back, it was Hazel. Hazel was running towards Damon and me, and you could see how worried she was.

Hazel was yelling at Damon, while I was a few steps away from them because Hazel wouldn't let me go near him. I was shaking and crying, didn't know what I should do. I could hear Hazel saying, "What are you doing to her? She is falling apart because of you! Leave her the hell alone." I was trembling due to the fear of what may happen after Hazel was done yelling at him. She was threatening him and insulting him enough to make sure that he would come nowhere near me.

A few words later, I saw Damon walk away, and Hazel come towards me. Hazel quietly says, "It's over. He will not be bothering you anymore."

I cried so much due to the happiness and freedom I felt. I knew deep down it wasn't over, but for now, it was over. I couldn't believe it, but it is finally over. I'm finally free from the pain he inflicted on me. I could finally breathe.