Love At First Kingdom

Chapter Ten

And thats how I ended up in the castle courtyard. A piece of dirty cloth shoved into my mouth as I'm shoved to my knees,arms tied firmly behind me. Maria and Hercules are in a heated argument twoards the back of the crowd. John paces calmly on his stand in the shade of the castle. I can see the gold in the cape flicker behind him when he turns sharply and eyes stern like a scolding parents.

"What do you want Maria?" Hercules hisses,i can barely hear their argument. " You know John wouldnt exempt Alex from the punishments. Especially with the war coming.  We show an ounce of weakness for him he is the nimbe ine target in everyone's kingdom. Either to protect or hold as a hostage and harm."

"But this isn't right!" He voice breaks. She looks on the verge of tears." No one deserves this."

" Im sorry Maria but he did this to himself. He screwed up." I freeze and eyebrows screw up.

That's right Alex. You did this. Youre just a screw up. Hell you couldn't even kill a deer without getting everyone you care about in trouble.  Your parents left you because they could see what a screw up you were. Now look where you are. Your new friends are watching you get beat for what ypu did because you couldn't  keep your fat mouth closed and-

"Alexander!"Maria cries out and its enough to snap me from my daze.  My eyes find and meet her fear filled ones. " Its going to be okay! You can tough it out. It'll be over quickly. "

No you cant. You're going to break down infront of all these powerul people. You're going to show them the powerless and weak human you are. Youre inferior.  You dont deserve this life. You should just turn yourself over to them now.

I close my eyes and sigh. My head falls and I look back down at the  gravel digging into my legs. My posture screams defeat. My head hangs and shoulders sag forward as i curl into myself.

I numbly try to listen for a number. How many times? How many whips?How many scars?

Something.... blah blah blah..... thirty. I freeze and eyes snap up. Maria looks shocked and like shes going to hit someone. Thirty lashes.thirty times.  Thirty scars.

" Its usally only ten." She hisses at Herc. Even he looks upset by the number. His arms cross and jaw sets.

"Poor guys going to pass out before twelve... thirty?.... howd he piss John off that much?"

Because youre a screw up. He said himself. You're responsible for your parents leaving you . You did this to yourself. This is why no one loves you. They all realise what a screw up amd troublemaker you are and they leave you.

I sigh and close my eyes.  The cloth in my mouth tastes terribly of pig fat.  Its a dish towel.  And wait for the first mark. At this point John's sit down and watch critically.

The first lash is like someone set a line of gunpowder on fire on my back. I scream out but its muffled by the rag. Tears run down my cheeks  and I fall forwards just showing more skin. Warm blood runs down my back as the second strick comes. I lurch forward and sob. With each whip that voice in my head spits an insulte.

By the time he reaches whore on the seventh whip the edges of my vision fade out. My eyes roll up and i go still.

When I wake up my head is pounding and back screaming in pain. I sit up and swear vilontly under my breath. Marias heae perks up and she stands. Were in my room.i gingerly touch my back and flinch. Theres a thick layer of a bandage there.

"You couldn't heal it?..."i look at her and she looks down. Slowly she shakes her head.

"Im sorry.."she says meekly. I throw my feet over the bed and stand shakily.

"Its okay."I put a hand on her shoulder and muster a small smile. She gives one back.

"What the hell happened after I blacked out?"i ask as i rub head and takea glass of water.

"Well, the finished what they started.  John didnt say anything the entire time. He didnt even flinch.  Its like he...."

"Hates me."I finish she looks at me and nods slowly.  I hold back a sob. Ill cry later."Im used to it..."

"You shouldn't."

"Yet I am."

Shes silent for a minute before looking at the door."I should..."

"Go. Ill be here. " she nods and hurries out.  As soon as the door closes tears drip down my face. I stager to the window and it in the chair there. My visions blurry and my arms are shaking. My backs still screaming at me in pain. I look over the lights the city casts far away.

I wish I was home. I was I had my mom to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay. To tell me that im not a screw up, that Im going to survive this.  Anyone. Anyone to hold and comfort me.

"Im sorry John..."I mutter to no one." Im so fucking sorry." I sob and my voice cracks.my shoulders shake and ." Im sorry im such a screw up. Im sorry im human and I can't keep my damn mouth shut and Im sorry I can't be enough for you to love me."I give heavy sobs to the stars only to be meet with silence.I keep looking at the soft glow of the night sky, the moon a pale cream and pregnant with light.  Its stunning. "Im so sorry..."

"I think he should be the one to be sorry." A voice says from behind me.its soft and kind. The tone is like a long lost lullby and the smell of jasmine fills the air.I look over my shoulder and eyes widen. I dont stand,or bow,i just stare. Thomas gives a small smile. " I really do."