The Truth.

May 16, 2014.

Well..

That's all I can say.. After my mom quit smoking for four years she picked up a cigarette. Turns out her boyfriends sister wanted her to take a couple puffs.. It's funny.. Because she wants me to quit my bad habits , but it's alright if she has bad habits? Alright then.. Oh and her answer to that? "I'm an adult, you're a kid." That's perfectly fine. But if she asks why I keep making mistakes I'm going to reply with "Its because I'm a kid and you're an adult, therefor my mistakes don't matter. " One day, if I make it to adulthood and have kids, I'm going to be a different parent.. Not that my parents are bad. No, not at all. I just want my daughter to not go through pure hell. Hell is Earth, true? But it's what we make it? right? So I want her to have the skills to handle life in the positive way me and my mom never did.. Hers was acting out when she was younger,exploding. Mine was acting out in a different way, imploding.. Which is funny in a way, we're completely different, yet so much alike.. I kind of look forward to tomorrow though? It's strange.. I have an schoolmate coming over.. She calls me her.. "Best Friend", or at least she used to, things have changed a ton since then. She can't even look at me with out disappointment stamped all over her face. When she looks at me it feels like all she sees is an empty shell, which is funny.. Due to the fact I see the same thing in the mirror, an empty shell. Hmm.. My tummy hurts. Haven't eaten the three meal times. I've been eating one meal a day, cut in half. I feel .. Fat? Most girls feel thus way though.. So I think it's normal. I haven't acted on any kind of impulses.. None. I'm pretty proud of myself, and proud of the empty shell I call a body. It's dealt with my awful eating habits and poor sleeping conditions. And today went better than usual , scratch my mom having to persuade me to get out of the basement. And me sleeping in, but I do that everyday. I stay up later than the people in my house , usually. The next morning my mom claims she tried to wake me up.. Whispering my name does not count as trying to wake a heavier type sleeper up. Wow.. I'm rambling again, well I'm thinking maybe I should go, so uhm..

Bai?

Sincerely,

Me

^~^

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