The Truth.

May 19,2014.

This will probably be a really short entry because I just started online free college classes and I have 2 hours worth of listening , not counting taking notes and homework afterwards. So I should really hurry this up and leave out any unnecessary rambling. Today was an ok kind of day, after my small relapse I thought I'd go straight back to my negative behaviors. But I called an old staff from the facility and she was so proud of me for not hurting myself.. Since me and my mom got into a minor argument she wondered if I was going to relapse any time soon, and I could honestly say " I think I'll be able to handle my urges if they arise, I mean sure, I won't always be able to handle it positively and sometimes I probably won't handle it at all.. But what matters is how and if I get back up." And I'm really excited tonight.. Because I think tomorrow's going to be good.. But I can't tell the future,always. I'm actually looking forward to waking up tomorrow and living life to the absolute fullest. Life goes on whether I'm on the ride or not is not up to me entirely, but how I react to that ride is up to me.. 20 years from now I want to be able to compare how I handled things then versus how I handle things then and see a positive change. Therefor if I don't participate positively in life tomorrow I hereby give one person I know to slap me, slap me silly if you must. Whatever it takes to get me to enjoy life more.. What sucks about this is I know I'll change my mind as soon as I get time to think to myself and as soon as the stress builds up again. I just feel awful.. So many people have it worse and here I am complaining because I can't stay happy.. I have shelter and food.. I think my family might possibly love me, if not I still at least HAVE family. I owe so many an apology for being selfish.. I hope you'll all forgive me.. And if it makes you feel better ill stop posting my pretty worthless entry's. I'm sure it wouldn't bother anyone.. But if it does I'd like to know that also. Both sides are equally important. Anyways, off to study! Wish me luck on my day tomorrow !

Sincerely,

Me.

^~^

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