The Truth.

May 27,2014.

Well. I haven't wrote In a while. Some things came up.. O haven't talked to anyone in days. I can't fall asleep easily, but my mother allows me to sleep in.. I haven't gotten or stayed out of bed for more than four hours. It's became a regular schedule ..

Wake up,

Wear pajamas all day,

make sarcastic joke,

Check phone,

Realize no one would miss me if I was gone,

Go into a deep depression,

Start to self-hate and implode,

Lay in bed and try to rethink life,

Fail,

Get out of bed,

Possibly eat,

Cry a little at how worthless I seem,

Get ready for bed,

Try to sleep,

Nightmares or strange dreams,

Repeat.

This has become a cycle and it changed rapidly depending on when I do each thing.. Occasionally I'll get in an argument with my mom, take some natural sleeping aid pills and try to forget the day ever existed.. I go places when my mom forces me and in public when I see an old store clerk my mom has fancied to acquaint herself with I let out a fake smile and a nod of the head, I know what their thinking though.. "There she is, that one girl that tried to kill herself!" Yeah, but I failed, just like I failed at life for wallowing in my own self-pity.. I'm a poor excuse for a human and no one , no one should have to deal with me.. So why?

Why do I stick around..?

Sincerely,

Me?

^~^

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