Life Of The Rich And Famous

Baby steps to insanity/cooking dinner

Who knew one drunken night could change everything? The way life was. The way I lived. The way I thought.

I look out my window 2nd day of being trapped. Bored I got up and went to my room. I'm not sure what the others are doing, they all seem to be off in their own worlds. Not that I mind. sometimes I like to let my mind wander. I walk right up to the edge of my bed before flopping face first into the blankets. The softness breaking my fall. There I lay. Thinking.

'Why did I have to be a show off and drink all that alcohol? Why did I try to make them all like me? Why do I bother? This is all my fault. My life literally lies on a war. Then on an abusive father to my dad. Then on 20 cents. Why do I exist out of all this? Me out of all people? My existence is pointless. I don't know who I am, I am useless, my bullies where right. I'm an idiot who doesn't need to exist. There are stars in the sky. I aint one of them. When you look at the sky you look for the brightest star. I'm the black hole, invisible, darkly tainted, and takes in everyone's crap once they're done with it. Why do I exist? What is the point of people? What is my point. People say everyone has a point. I guess mine is to be a dodgy sponge. Soak in all the bad give out all the good. When I go mouldy I get chucked out. That's the point of my life. I'm such a worthless piece of crap. Why?'

As I think these thoughts they get to the point where I'm softly crying. I reach under my bed to get a knife. No one knows it's there. I drag it across the same line in my skin over and over until my thoughts go numb. I stop crying and sit there. After a while I put the knife away and put on a fake smile. No one ever notices though. I walk to the bathroom and take a quick shower before putting on a pastel blue shirt, black jeans and an oversized black jumper. I walk out to the window and stare out it again. It's raining now. I look at the storm mesmerised about how the lighting seems to come out of no were, the rain drops on my window seem to melt together, the clouds seem to get darker. I smile and watch more. Thinking about the beauty of it. I check the time to find that its 1pm.

'I don't feel hungry anyway' I think to myself putting my phone away and going back to staring out the window. At about 5 I move away from the window to start cooking dinner. I haven't seen anyone yet. They are all probably telling their friends and family about what a screw up I am.

'they aren't that way! They are nice people! They are just explaining the situation we are in!' I fight internally with the voice in my head.

'as if. They don't care about you. They just want to use you. You are just there to sponge up their negative emotions and give out good ones, you know that' the voice says back.

"No they are not like that? why can't you see that?" I mumble to myself.

'Because I can see the truth. When your sad what do you do? If you told them what would they do?' the voice replied.

"they would hug me and tell me it gets better," I say to myself.

'no. they just say what they think you want to hear. Can't you see? I'm trying to protect you!' the voice yelled at me.

"No! they are not like that! they are wonderful amazing people who deserve so much more then what I've put on them! You will not say any different!" I yell at my reflection in the fridge. I feel the voice just shrugs while I huddle into a ball in the corner of the room. I really just hope no one saw that and thought I was crazy. i stay there for about 30 seconds silently before tears came flooding out. The gates the hell of my brain opened as I think about all the pain in my life. I can't see straight or hear anything other than my heavy sobbing so when I feel someone wrap their arms around me. I try to look up to see who it is but can't see anything with these tears. I just hug them back silently and cry into their shoulder. After a while two more people join into the floor hug. I just sit crying. I'm not even sure why anymore. Clearly they all care right? I wipe my eyes and smile as best as I could.

"thank you," I whisper, I hope they heard me. I untangle myself from the mess of people and walk over to the kitchen to make dinner.

"Hey! Em, We'll all help you make dinner tonight!" Tyler exclaims. I hear Dan and Phil agree with her. Looks like I won't be taking my jumper off then.

"Ok but first all of you need to wash your hands! Then Dan, you and Phil are set on the dessert, that'll be ice-cream. It's not that hard just look it up online. Ty you and I will be making dinner! Spaghetti and meatballs for all of you! And Grey seaweed and Meatballs for me!" I happily pronounce. Dan and Phil both taken aback by my sudden mood change. I just can put on a really good mask to shake them that much... or perhaps it's the grey pasta I took out for myself.... Maybe the latter...

"Imma video this for ma channel and label it, 24 weeks of heaven or hell cooking, night 2! Really I'm just bored..." I explain rushing into my room to get my camera's and their tripods. When I get back out I see all the ingredients set up. I set up the camera's and turn them on.

"Hello penguins! So today is my second day being trapped in my house! With me I have Tyler Sahder, Dan Howell, and Phil Lester! The boys will be making ice cream while us girls make Spag! I'll explain more later! But for now what will we be needing?" I ask. I see Dan and Phil pick up their ingredients and walk into shot.

"for the Ice cream you will need:" Dan starts before pointing to Phil.

"A large tub of thickened cream, Vanilla essence, and, if you want, white chocolate," Phil tells the camera smiling. They explain how to make ice cream and make it in front of the camera before Tyler and I take our turn.

"all right! Now for the Spag you will need:" I start before Tyler continues.

"Thawed shredded beef," Tyler starts.

"Cow!" I interrupt quickly before she moves on.

"Tomato paste, Basil, mushrooms, capsicum, cumin, salt, pepper, so forth," Tyler finishes. I take out my small camera and show it over the other foods.

"we're too lazy to say everything. The instructions will be in a link down below," I say as we point down below the camera.

After we finished making dinner I turned the camera off. No one needed to see us eating dinner. Sitting at the table we all ate, made small talk, and chatted about nothing. It was good to see them chatting. It made me feel slightly better about what was going on.

We ate dessert then all curled up or stretched out into a comfortable position in the lounge room and played games of the play station.

"It's almost 3am guys," I yawn, "not sure about you but I'm not ready to die of sleep deprivation."

"yeah sure," I hear Tyler mumble. I see Phil nod half asleep and look over to Dan.

"Bed time!" I sing song and this time everyone replies with goodnight and retreats to their respected rooms. I put everything away and put some of my board games on the table to the next day. I head into my room and start editing my video.

"ok now that I am halfway done I guess I should head to sleep..." I mumble yawning every few seconds, "Nah a coffee will do," I grumpily get up and head to the kitchen to make myself a really sugary drink.

After drinking it I put a note on the table and go back to editing. The note reads

I won't be up for lunch today.

Don't wait for me!

Emma!

Xxx

I fall asleep at around 9am.