A Christmas Tale

Cb's Story 3: An Expectedly Unexpected Ending

The ground stops moving, the woman's eyes shifting upwards at the boy as she yells "Are you alright?" The boys stops bracing for impact, standing tall again as she shouts back "Yeah, I'm alright, how about you?" She brushes some loose hair back over her ear as she smiles "I'm fine, it's strange though, never heard of a place like this having an earthquake. The boy looks down at the gun, snapping it in two as one final light emits from it Sparks begin to fly, melting the snow around him as he tosses it to the path, setting a small fire that shrinks into nothingness as the gun returns to its original size. The boy turns back the woman for a moment, watching her walk away with her vegetable cart as he hears a quiet voice from behind him again. "No... I am so dead when I get back!" He spins, immediately locking eye with the small green man as he leaves the bushes and stomps on the small fire that the gun has created. No matter how much the man hits the fire, it doesn't go out and only seems to get larger by the second as the boy runs over and kicks dirt over it. The fire dwindles but doesn't stop, changing size at random as the green creature turns and begins to walk into the bushes. "That darned red elf must be the cause of this! Taking my seed and then breaking my gun like it's no big deal!" The boy grabs over the fire at the little man's hood "You know the elf?" He says, staring at the man as he brings him up to his face. The man looks left then right before staring directly at the boy, waving his hand over the boy's eyes as he says "This is not the alien you are looking for." The boy places his over hand over his face with a saddened expression. "That's a yes then." He says disappointedly as he runs towards the blonde haired woman. She hears his footsteps and swivels her head, finding the little green man mere inches away from her nose as she falls backwards. "Wah!" the boy just looks completely serious as the woman looks up at him "That wasn't very nice... Is there anything you need?" She sounds mildly concerned and annoyed as the boy just says "What is this?" The woman looks over at it "I don't know... some kind of leave or insect...?" She pauses mid-sentence and screams "What the hell is that tiny green man!" He waves his hand again "This is not the alien you are looking for?" This time he seems slightly unsure as the woman raises an eyebrow "So crop circles are really caused by you?" She looks unimpressed as if she was expecting something terrifying and different. "Nope, that's just you lot trying to impersonate us, you wouldn't believe the amount of those that we've had to repeal!" He folds his arms and pouts as the boy places him on his shoulder "Alright then... I'm not insane, you haven't been around the farmer for enough time to catch moron so I can trust that you can actually see it..." The boy holds the bridge of his nose as he notices a black car wiz past once more. It's followed by two bulldozers as the boy runs back to the house. He takes a shortcut, making it way in advance as the metal cow blocks the bulldozers' entry. He puts the alien down by the top of the ramp before opening the door and entering "Better not let the nutter see you..." He closes the door behind him, running over to the table to see the farmer fast asleep with his legs propped up as he leans back slightly. The boy slams his hand on the table as the farmer falls backwards. The boy stumbles backwards, looking over at the farmer as his eyes creak open "Hey, what can I do for ya? You hungry? I got us some doughnuts if you want." He holds up a piece of paper as the first thing he looks at is the farmer's signature written is terribly inconsistent handwriting. The boy's eyes slip upwards as the farmer hands him some screws "I've got to say that they don't taste as good though..." He picks something shiny off the table as he swings his teeth at it, hearing a chomp as he retracts in disgust. He places one in the boy's hands "Here, try one." The boys looks confused at a metal nut is he pulls the contract back off of the table, reading it through as his eyes open wide...

Meanwhile, outside the alien hears a light whistle as they look over the edge of the ramp. "'Bed' seemed a curious name for these green spear..." The trapped elf recites as the alien begins to shout "Damn it, where's my seed!" The elf looks up "Oh hiya!" She stares expectedly as the alien repeats himself "Where's the seed!" The elf only smiles, thinking that she may be able to escape through him again as she replies "Where's my hat?" The alien looks to his left, pausing as the elf's expression becomes serious with anger "Where is it?" "It kinda..." "'kinda' what?" She says impatiently "...Exploded...?" The alien replies slowly as the elf grabs the ramp beside her, her nails digging deep into the rock as she begins to climb. The Alien looks away talking smugly as the elf makes her way up "There is no way you're seriously going to get up here like that." He peeks back over the edge watching he grow closer and closer as the alien becomes slightly more agitated "There's no way you're going to kill me over a hat." He begins to sweat as she almost makes it to the top "There's no way you can..." She grabs him ankles as he runs to the door "...c-catch me" He stutters as he is pulled down and the alien is pulled over the edge, dangling by nothing but his foot. He reaches for his gun, pointing it at her immediately "If you drop me I-I'll shoot." His attitude wavers as he forgets the guns purpose. The elf's stare fades as the earth calls once again. She loses her grip as they both fall into the nettle bed, landing into the small clearing from before as the shaking continues. Their bad blood settles as they huddle and the blonde woman from before runs over to the house. She wings the door open, jumping under the table with the boy as the farmer walks outside. He then looks back at the boy and smiles as the black car finally makes it to the building. "We're here to dispose of this building!" The red-head orders as the farmer looks baffled "Why? Did you want your doughnuts back? I can give them back?" He offers the nuts and bolts to her as she slaps his hand out of the way "Christmas is forgiving, true but no... keep those bolts because that's all you'll have in a few moments once the dozers get here. He bends down, picking up the metal pieces before looking up at her "I believe your wording was 'continuously failed potato farming'" He says smugly as the bulldozers are seen driving away. The redhead turns around, seeing a large yellow object growing larger every second before the entire field becomes the rounded wall. The blonde woman grabs the boy's arm, pulling him out of the house as they all run from the impending object as if runs through the house. It slows down in its expansion as it gently pushes the buildings near them further and furth as the crushed materials begin to spark. It crushes a silo like a can, the contents flying upwards and coating the giant object as the sparks begin to ignite against it. The fire burns through the fields, giving off a wonderful smell as all the frost melts for miles around. The red-headed woman falls to her knees as the farmer puts out his hand "I believe you bought this property... It's a shame that this had to happen to your new land." She looks up at him as the blonde woman walks forward, pointing at the house as she speaks "At least the shack is still standing...

..."Don't worry, I got this!" Ol shouts as everyone stays quiet, still astonished by the current events as Cb puts his thumbs up "Do it!"...

There is a small purple light as the skin of the wall begins to rip, a fluffy white mash flowing out as a red and green dot runs towards the group, one of them shouting "I'll pay you back in a couple days!!! Merry Christmaaas..." She jumps onto a paper aeroplane as the alien holds on for dear life, flying north as the gorgeous small floods the land as the steam rises to the heavens. The substance flows down to the ground as they all freeze in fear. The farmer places his finger inside the growing pile as he then sticks it into his mouth, licking it quickly before burying his face into it as everyone around him throws up their hands "Nope! This is too far Cb!"...

...Cb drools as everyone just stares at him "You are insane..." Mischief shakes her head as Tet pitches in "And you said I was blinded by hunger" Cb places his finger in his mouth "You're all just jealous that you didn't get to see a giant potato turn to mash before your very eyes..."  Luke gets up "Can no one tell a story without the ending being food-related in some way?!" Everyone looks towards his outburst as he shakes his head "Of course... I should have expected nothing less..."