Addie pov
I freely confided into Luke and Ashton. Their blue eyes never once held judgement which made me feel a tiny bit happier about the whole situation. How could I be so stupid and foolish enough to say the words 'I love you'. Deep down I've always known Zayn would never love me I just wish I knew sooner so I could of avoided all this pain and anguish. "baby he's stupid if he lets someone as beautiful and amazing as my boo" Luke said putting his arm over my sloughed shoulder. No amount of comforting was going to soothe the unbearable ache in my heart. I knew the cure... Zayn. Would he even care that I had these kind of feeling towards him or was I just another stupid girl with a hopeless crush for the hot popular boy. Ashton was sitting on the sofa opposite us awkwardly. I don't think he had any experience dealing with such cases that involve a silly girl and a misunderstood boy... I don't think anyone has to be honest. At least with Niall everything was predictable and... boring but with Zayn I do things I would never do and when we kiss there's always a deep intense spark of passion and desire. I do love Zayn and it breaks my heart knowing he might not feel the same. Sure he tests my limits and sure as hell throws my morals out the window but with him its a sense of adventure, never knowing what's around the corner. Luke and Ashton were clearly walking on eggshells, I knew exactly what they wanted to say. They wanted to say that he was trouble and I should go back to my normal boring life little did they know I was in to deep now, there was no turning back no matter what.
It wasn't in Luke's nature to hold back and he was soon due to explode without meaning it. Although Ashton was a good friend of mine I could tell he would be on Luke's side no matter how harsh or cruel his outburst would actually be. "Addie please listen to me ok? you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen and not like dirt, someone who will kiss you everyday and will make you cry with happiness not sadness" Luke said gently rubbing a stray tear from my cheek. When Zayn was in a playful mood he would treat me better than any other man could. I felt a lump in my throat preventing me from speaking, I was to exhausted to even look up to meet their pitiful gazes. Somewhere in this small little town was Zayn, what he was doing was unknown to me but I hope to god he's thinking intensely about us and where we go from here. If we were to start a relationship he would need to stop drinking and would definitely need to control his anger and jealously especially when It came to Louis , Luke and Ben. I will change as well, I want this to work no matter what anyone said. Zayn was apart of me now he jumps I jump, he leaves I leave.
Zayn pov
How could something so small and innocent say that they love me? me... a person who has no regards for anyone's feelings but their own? a person who used to beat people up for fucking money, I mean what kind of sick person does that? How could Addie look past my dark past and my gloomy future? Being with Addie makes me what to be a better man for her but every time I fuck up it breaks myself and her and I see it in her face every single fucking time, it destroys her and it literally kills me every time. God I shouldn't think like this, the old me wouldn't give a fuck but here I am thinking about a girl who has foolishly fallen in love with someone who's been made to be incapable of love. My phone began to buzz in my pocket and I found myself hoping it was Addie. To my dismay it was Harry, "what?" I snapped, im not in the mood for Harry and his womanizing ways. "mate calm down" he chuckled. My knuckles turned white and my grip on the steering wheel increased. By my lack of reply I think Harry got the hint that I was in no fucking mood. "listen mate were throwing a party at mine, Bella's coming you know she misses you" he teased. Why the hell would he think I would give a fuck about Bella? she was a one time thing that's it. I still remember her sitting on my lap sucking and biting on my neck, Her bright red hair was stupid pretty sure its gotten redder. Maybe a drunken one night stand was just what I needed for both me and Addie to move on. Even considering doing this made me sick to my stomach, she was sure to never forgive me especially since she blurted out her love for me. "ok ill be there in five" I sighed. Bella had nothing on Addie. For starters Addie cherished her innocence and purity but Bella innocence sailed a long time ago. It was like my mind was fixated on Addie it was driving me over the fucking edge.
The outside of the house was crawling with guests who obviously couldn't find a space in the house. The music was blaring and could be heard from two blocks away. Was it actually necessary to have music this loud? especially this shit. All eyes were on me, probably because Bens here lurking in the shadows with his messed up face. At least no one will have the balls to say or doing anything to me. Having this type of reputation does have its perks. No one dare challenges me, people are scared of you but since I met Addie I've come to realize there's more cons then pros. Loneliness, scared off, fake friendships and never in a long lasting relationship. Although I did adore my tattoos its another thing added to the list of things of why me and Addie are incompatible. "Hey Zaynie" a high pitched voice called from behind me and I knew who it was straight away... Bella. My head turned to her direction and as usual she was dressed in a tight crop top showing most of her cleavage and she might as well not had a skirt on. Bella was practically naked. She grabbed my hand and led me to a empty room. Just looking at her made me repulsed I even went near. I wanted to forget Addie and if this is the only way so be it. She pushed me back and I landed on a feather soft bed. She roughly climbed on my lap. Bella undid my buttons vastly like there was no tomorrow, I think she was scared I was going to change my mind. Bella's long finger nails made contact with my pecks and scratched roughly down. Great its going to leave a fucking mark. Her red lips sucked and bit on my sore neck.
