I'm Supposed to Love You (Peterick)

Pete POV

I walked down stairs and I heard soft snores. I peaked my head around the corner and saw Patrick curled up on the couch. Aw! Wait, shut up, Pete... you do not find him attractive! This is what Joe and Andy wanted to happen. Besides, he's not your type. 

Patrick stirred in his sleep.
Shit! I can't let him see me staring at him. I walked into the kitchen before his eyes opened.

"Pete?" Patrick walked into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway.

"Why'd you stay the night?" I asked, looking over my shoulder.

He frowned and looked down. "I didn't want to leave you alone like that. You were scaring me."

I sighed and chuckled. "I scare everyone."

"I was afraid that you'd do something."

"I'd do something if I was in that big of a situation."

"Last night seemed pretty big."

I shook my head. "Last night was calm compared to every other time."

His eyes widened. "So this happens a lot? Do you hear voices or something?"

I shook my head. "That's called Schizophrenia. What I have is called a minor case of depression."

"Minor? That seems like a major case."

"No."

"Have you gotten help?"

"I don't need help. If I get help I end up hurting the person trying to help me then they just give up on me. I'm not sucking anyone into my messed up trash of a world."

He stepped closer. "But what if the person climbs on board without your permission?"

I looked into his eyes. "You're...?"

He nodded. "I'm not gonna give up on you. I'm stuck with you like you're stuck with me now that we're in this band. Get used to me being around... a lot!"

I smiled and pulled him into a hug.

He hugged me back tighter.

"You're a pretty cool kid, you know that?" I asked, releasing him.

He blushed. "Uh... haha... Thanks." he said shyly.
Okay, maybe having a crush on this kid isn't that bad. What the hell are you saying, Pete!? He's not even gay! and even if he were, he sure the hell wouldn't go for a guy like you! You're just a mess, a heart break waiting to happen. You're a failure that is holding everyone back from doing what they want.

I shook my head, but that wasn't enough to rid the thoughts.

"Pete..."
What the hell!? I rubbed my eyes and grabbed hold of the counter that was behind me.

"Pete, listen to me... snap outta it!"

I felt someone shake me, but I couldn't see them due to the blackness taking away my vision.

"Pe-!"

Then everything just stopped, no noises, no thoughts. Nothing. Just blackness, I could tell where I was though, my mind. I looked around. The dark that was called Nothing had consumed me. I was trapped, couldn't move, couldn't say anything. I felt unforgiven.

Then I heard them... voices. "Is he alright?" a familiar voice asked. Was that... Joe?

"Doctor said he's fine... I guess he was having a panic attack." Patrick?

"I'm so glad you were there when this happened!" Mom?

"Me too." Patrick responded. He sounded closer.

I felt something squeeze my hand.

"How long has this been going on?" Patrick asked.

There was a sigh. "For a while... since he was probably thirteen." Joe responded.

"I didn't find out until a year after the band got started." Andy was here too!?

I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn't.

"What caused it?" Patrick asked.

"I don't know, but what's happening is he thinks no one really loves him... He's had too many people give up on him and I'm afraid that he's just about to give up on himself." Joe said.

Finally, I opened my eyes. From right to left I could see Joe, Andy, my mom... and Patrick. Patrick was crying... why?

"Look!" Andy said.

Patrick looked at me with bloodshot eyes. "Hey... You're awake!" he said, quickly wiping the tears off his face.

"Yeah!" I said, sitting up.

He looked down and sat in a chair farther away from me.

My mom engulfed me in a hug. "My poor baby!" she cried.

I pushed her away and tried to see past her to see Patrick, but it was no use. I still tried, though. "I'm fine, Mom." I grunted.

She caught me eye and looked at Joe and Andy, shooing them out of the room.

Patrick was staring out the window.

We stayed quiet for a little while. I looked down at the blanket and played with the wrinkles in the fabric.

After a while, I felt Patrick's eyes land on me. "You have a lot of friends."

I looked up to see him smiling.

I shook my head. "No, mostly Joe and Andy."

"But so many people love you." he looked back out the window.

We were silent for another couple of minutes.

Then Patrick stood up and walked over to the bed. He sat on the end. "You're a pretty cool guy, you know that?" he smirked at me.

I smiled. "I wish." I scoffed.

He laughed. You really are, though." He poked my foot.

I didn't say anything.

"Just because some people gave up on you, doesn't mean you're not worth fighting for."

"I'm not even worth lying for." I crossed my arms.

He moved to where he was sitting next to me. "None of us are." he whispered, lying back on the bed.

I followed him.

"I'd fight millions of battles to see that smile on your face... I'd fight this one by myself if I could... you know why?" he asked.

"Why?" I turned my head to look at him.

"Because you're my friend. Because I care about you. Because that smile means I'm doing something right."

I smiled at him.

"My life's complete." he said jokingly.

I rolled my eyes. "You're a dork."

"Aren't we all, though?"