I'm Supposed to Love You (Peterick)

Back To The Past...

-3:00.AM-

Waking up to crying can be worrisome. I looked around for the source and finally saw it was coming from the couch.

I sat up and saw Razzel sitting at the end of the couch, face buryied in her hands and knees pulled to her chest. She was crying pretty hard.

"Razzel?" I asked softly.

She jumped slightly and looked around, first at Patrick and then finally her eyes landed on me through the darkness. "Panda?" she whispered.

I nodded and held out my arms.

She crawled off the couch careful not to wake Patrick. She sat on my lap and stared at the floor, fiddling with her hands.

"How long?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her.

She sighed and laid her head on my shoulder. "Remember when I got out of the hospital that day a while back?"

"Five years?" (I can't remember how long it's been. :/)

"About..." She played with my hand for a little while.

I grabbed her wrist and flipped it over. Nothing... I gave her a confused look. "Where?"

Her shakey hands pointed to her stomach. "I couldn't have you guys finding out."

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why couldn't you talk to us? Are you happy, sad? What's wrong? I can't tell if you don't speak to me..." I said. "Are you not happy because of something that went on at school?"

"No, no, no!"

"Is it your dad and I?"

"NO!"

"Then, Razzel, what is it?"

"That night you told me you loved me."

"I always tell you I love you..." I said, confused.

"No, it was that one specific night after I came home from the hospital. You told me that and I started crying."

"Yeah?"

"Harrold kidnapped me. He told me that no one really loves me. Its all just a ruse. They all just pretend because they feel bad for me. Even you guys. Especially you guys. He said that I might as well kill myself if I ever escape because no one really loves me but him." She shuddered and hugged me tightly. "Is it true, daddy?" she started sobbing again as she buried her face in the crook my neck.

"Oh, Oh, oh, baby..." I hugged her tightly And refused to let her go. I kissed her cheek and rocked her for a couple seconds. "Heavens no it's not true. Daddy and I love you more than we love life Itself!" I exclaimed.

She sniffled. "Really?"

I nodded and rubbed her back.

"What about Bronx? He's your biological son!" she exclaimed back, sobbing harder. "Do you love him more than me?"

"No... Good gracious no! I can't pick my favorite kid. Biological or not, you're our daughter and you're as much a part of this family as anyone else is."

"But... Imma mess! I mess everything up!" she pulled back and looked at the floor.

I nodded. "But if you're a mess, so is everyone else. Everyone messes shit up whether they realize it or not."

"I do it on a regular basis."

"So does everyone else."

She sniffled again. "I'm just a broken record repeating myself."