Secret Rejection

After

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°°°Two Weeks Later°°°

We were quite possibly getting a bit closer to leaving the battle behind us.

It was hard and despite it being fourteen days after the battle, we were all still on edge. It hurt to think about the wolves we lost, especially because I grew up with most of them. Twenty of our pack members died. Audrey, Daniel, Sam, and Sterling were four of them that I personally knew. Audrey was Lizzie's best friend and loyal Sam was her mate. Daniel and Sterling were siblings and always looked out for everyone.

Members of our pack were left in a state of depression, seeing as some had lost their mates, friends, or family members. I couldn't help but think how lucky I was. I almost lost Xander but I made a decision that I was proud of and saved him. Although, Xander hadn't spoken a word to me since. He was probably somewhere downstairs with Lizzie, trying to get things into order as they used to be. Even our optimistic Luna was having a little trouble being her usual self. She still hadn't told Xander the truth about who she was and it gave me a tiny thrill to know something he didn't.

Nick was in the medical wing of the house, seeing as he had been stabbed with a heavy dose of silver repeatedly. He was recovering nicely and was probably asleep at the moment. He'd have some rough looking scars on his body in the long run but it only added to his appeal.

Unfortunately, I couldn't say the same for myself. A ghastly scar ran from my rib cage to my hip and I hated even glancing at it. Another one was beside it, except smaller. It sucked that pure silver scarred us.

Iris was nowhere to be seen and it scared me to think of her being absent for when Nick finally woke up. I kinda missed her, too.

Speaking of people being nowhere to be seen....

My mate.

He had quite literally disappeared. I wasn't worried, though. I knew exactly where he was. Portia, his sister, had told me that he had gone to the Council to recount the events and see what they had to say. I expected him to come back in two or three days, not a freaking fortnight. As angry and sad as I felt, there was simply nothing I could do. Hanging out with Portia and Gage wasn't an option anymore, seeing as looking Gage in the eyes was embarrassingly awkward and all Portia ever did was talk about lovey dovey stuff with her mate. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or pissed that Gage hadn't told Portia about our mingling past.

Then again, I had too much on my mind to care about that.

I really just wanted to see Nate again. This time, there would be no emotions present when I saw him. I just needed some straightforward answers about what he did to me with the whole awakened thing and about where we stand as mates. He was honestly the most confusing person ever. He rejected me, accepted me, and was now acting like I wasn't even alive. Our last encounter made me angry that he would say such a thing to me.

I always thought your mate would be perfect and the moment you met then, life would gradually become easier. My precious mate shattered any dreams I had of that. If anything, Nate made my life more difficult. But I couldn't help but also think of how much more exciting it had gotten, too. Was that Nate's doing?

♦♦♦♦♦

"I need friends." I said aloud to myself. I was lying on my bed, my head hanging off the edge and everything was upside down. The blood slowly rushed to my head and I sighed, closing my eyes.

I stayed silent, dozing off into my thoughts and a restless slumber when someone knocked on my door.

"Come in." I yawned out. The door opened to reveal Xander. My eyes widened and I immediately got up and sat cross legged on my bed. "Hey. What's up?"

He softly closed the door behind him and ran a hand through his messy hair. Instead of responding, he let his eyes wander over my room to analyze the dark features. My queen sized bed had crimson sheets and a black nightstand beside it. A small bookshelf collecting dust for over a year was in the corner. I had a long mirror to replace my old broken one in front of my bed and that was about it. I casually played with a strand of my hair, hoping Xander wouldn't see what I had tucked into the top edge of my mirror.

But he was an Alpha. He wouldn't miss anything.

His eyes narrowed as he walked up to the mirror. I watched as he leaned in even closer, as if he couldn't precisely decipher what he was seeing. Then his back stiffened and he quickly turned away, pretending he never saw it.

"I came here to thank you." He finally said.

"About time." I couldn't help it and immediately covered my mouth with my hand as soon as I spoke. Shit.

He actually cracked a smile. "I want to thank you for saving me, Lily. Without you, I'd probably be dead. And I also want to apologize for all the rude remarks I've made." He turned to leave and I slightly relaxed because that was awkward. But he stopped and started to speak again. "I thought I lost you. The old Lily. But you're still there. Different, but still there and it's good to know that. You have no idea."

♦♦♦♦♦

One Week Later

Nate still wasn't back. Once again, I felt like the most depressed being on this planet.

Portia told me that Nate hadn't contacted her at all, so she assumed he was still with the Council. And before actual worry could begin to set in, Gage came out of nowhere and grabbed her by the waist. She let out a little shriek as he spun her around and placed his lips on hers. The smooching sounds were quite effective.

I vaguely remembered the way his lips felt on mine. Fruity and not the perfect fit, but pretty darn fun. He had this habit of sticking his tongue down your throat before the kiss even began, though. Nate wasn't like that at all. Nate's kisses were furious.

He knew how to pour everything in to the kiss and make you feel. There was something alive and energetic in it all. And once he did that, he proceeded to take everything to a new level by grabbing you tightly in all the right places and roughly shoving you into something before he pressed his lower region to yours and the real heat began.

Okay, truth be told, Nate never did any of that rough stuff with me. It was just my fantasies. But, his kisses were furious. I wasn't lying about that. And I imagined that he actually would be rough with other sexual activites.

Sexual activities I had yet to endure since Nate wasn't here. I always had the option of finding some other guy for a quick release, but it wasn't the same and I didn't want to do that to my mate.

I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted someone to touch me and make me feel. I wanted some love, even if it was only for a second.

Where are you, Nate?

♦♦♦♦♦

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