stray kids ; changlix | crash ↺

03 | drowning

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"here's the towels," i walked in, a small smile playing on my lips at the sight of felix.

he thanked me and left to change shortly after that, his presence marked by the raindrops he dropped behind.

my mother nudged me, reminding me that she was still there as a suggestive smirk was plastered on her face. "don't you think he's cute?" she urged.

"mom!" i hid my blushing cheeks, "just because i'm gay doesn't mean that i find every boy cute!"

she laughed, pulling me into a motherly hug, "i'm just teasing you," she cooed, ruffling my hair as i sank into her touch. by all means, i loved her, but sometimes i regret telling her about my romantic interests.

but felix is cute, don't get me wrong.

"sorry sweetie, you'll have to clear up a night earlier," she sighed, pulling apart.

"it's alright," i assured her, nodding lightly as i grabbed a spare pillow, a blanket and my pyjamas from the depths of my closet.

my mother kissed me goodnight on my forehead and went back to her room, making me promise to stay behind and wish felix a good rest before i too would have to leave.

i sat down on my double-sized bed, waiting, thinking about how i would need to clear out all of my things out of my room first thing tomorrow morning. all the clothes, all the photographs of me, jisung and chan, and all the other little things.

so deep in thought, i haven't noticed felix until he stood in front of me and clicked his fingers aloud. i snapped and almost fell back in surprise, but he just laughed.

a small and soft laugh, like the type of laugh that makes shivers climb up your arms.

"sorry, i zoned out," i rubbed the back of my head, standing up with my belongings under my arms. "i'll be in the room across, so if you need anything during the night — don't be afraid to wake me up," it was an obvious lie, but for the first time i think i meant it, "sleep well and i hope you don't get sick," i threw him a kind smile which he accepted with an alike one.

"thanks changbin," felix's deep voice was like a rumble of storm on its own.

nodding in goodbye, i closed the door behind me (somehow) and proceeded to make myself comfortable in a room that i greeted every year with a defeating sigh.

a lonesome window, with a raging storm. a cold mattress, with its creaking springs.

i threw the pillow into the corner of the bed, changing quickly and hopping in, wrapping myself into the warmth that wasn't there yet.

breathing out, i blocked out the sound of thunder, i forgot about where i was, and just let myself drift into a dream.

and in my sleep, something cold kept stabbing me in the face. like an ice drop, sending tingles down my spine.

i tried to tell myself it was nothing, just the back of my head playing tricks on me, but eventually i woke up. and when i woke up, i realised my whole face was wet. and all around me, the room was accompanied by un-invited raindrops from the outside.

bringing my chin upwards, my eyes were met with the beauty of our leaking ceiling in its full splendour.

i was doomed, and so was this room. and that was for sure.

wiping away the water, i knew that there were some buckets under the bed. so reaching out for them, i sighed in relief when all three of them were vacant of any spider dorms.

i put a bucket into the corner, where a cascade of rain was pouring viciously down. another one beside the window, where a lot of holes merged into one and let the rain seep through. and the last one onto the soaked bed.

great, what am i going to do now?

this place already began to stink up with old wood rotting through. and i wasn't planning on staying here, but it's not like i had any other practical options.

the living room? no, mother will kill me if she finds me sleeping on that sofa again, since it 'ruins my back'.

this room? definitely not, it needs to be completely re-done because at this rate the pipes will break out and drown the whole place.

i wasn't going to start on why the other rooms wouldn't suit, but in the end i came to an almost perfect solution.

my own room.

the little flaw was, in fact, a foreign guest called felix who occupied it now.

i sighed angrily, i just wanted to sleep.

but with this window being on the verge of shattering any second now, i gathered whatever courage i had; and shuffled down the hall.

the longer i stood there, the more i wanted to back out. but felix is nice, right? he'd understand my constructional difficulties, right?

i knocked softly, knowing that he was awake, because i could see the stream of light from under the door. and as i pulled it open, i popped my head in.

"hey," my voice was quiet.

upon noticing me, felix was evidently surprised, lying on my bed with his phone out and the table-light shining dimly.

"is something wrong?" he asked, checking the time that came up as just past one in the morning.

"no, actually yes," i stammered, letting myself in and closing the door behind me like i always do.

felix raised his eyebrow, his hair still a bit damp.

"you see, the room i usually stay in— it's leaking a lot because of the storm."

"oh."

"so, um— i was wondering if i could sleep here for tonight? then i'll figure out something for tomorrow," i mumbled in slight embarrassment.

felix immediately grew pink, but with a moment's grace, he nodded, "of course, it's your room anyways."

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written: december 15, 2017 | 00:13am