stray kids ; changlix | crash ↺

18 | forever & over

  ——— 

felix and i ran into the house just as a storm was rustling up outside, winds roaring through and skies humming darker by moments. 

i closed the door behind us and sighed tiredly, thinking of the day that we spent over at minho's — playing games and destroying his room; from ridiculous dares to rants about school to dream talks and so on.

jeongin got drunk on coke, and chan laughed so hard that his hiccups hurt. woojin buried himself into his hoodie and hyunjin just clung onto him for hours. jisung tried to be friends with minho's dog, but it kept running away and hiding behind seungmin which caused even more chaos.

in the end, minho kicked everyone out and wished us a safe journey home, only letting jisung stay to help him clean up the mess that we've made.

but neither of us believed that of course.

we all left and separated ways, strolling back as the evening turned against us. felix and i raced it home, with me winning without any doubts. 

now, the two of us stood in the middle of the entrance corridor, trying to catch our breaths as we laughed at the same time, making it pretty much impossible.

the hallway was dimmed darkly, the sound of kitchen roamings and arguments faintly echoing in the background.

distracted, my eyes averted to felix by themselves, staring as his back huffed up and down and his newly-blonde hair was a bird nest on his head. we dyed it together the other day, and ended up giving my mother a heart attack.

"why— how are you so goddamn fast?" felix broke my thoughts with his stutter.

i chuckled, taking off my shoes as i slid towards him to ruffle his hair and jump on his back, "it's just because you're too slow," i laughed.

"yah! just because i lost — doesn't mean i owe you a piggy-back ride," he pouted as i clung onto him tighter.

"hmm," i pondered, "you've any other suggestions?"

"i'm always full of suggestions when it comes to you," felix suddenly pulled me off him and staggered me backwards until my back hit a wall. i gulped, his hands on my waist as mine rested on his shoulders without a second's thought.

"hey felix—" my voice was quiet and uncertain, "—not here."

but it was as if he'd never even heard me, crashing his lips into mine as i grew weak in his hold.

i had a feeling that i should have stopped him, as if i knew something bad was going to happen. my stomach twisted in guilt, my hands couldn't push him away. and when the corridor lights flipped on, i somehow knew it was over.

"felix?" i heard a stranger's voice, older, sturdier.

black spots danced in my sight as we broke away, but i could clearly make out felix's expression— shocked, pained.

scared.

"dad?" he whispered, his voice cracking and eyes glistening. "mom?" he turned to another figure, "what— what are you doing here?"

the couple stood a few steps away, exchanging a glance at felix's korean before facing us both with a look that i couldn't quite understand.

my mother appeared by their side in the next moment, "let's go back inside, won't we? boys are you hungry?" she looked at me with a smile but i could see her sad eyes.

"mom, what's going on?" i lingered in front of felix, as if trying to protect him of what's to come.

"dear— we all know that felix is only visiting and—" she tried not to break under her own words as she broke me.

my heartbeat echoed loudly in my ears, and my chest suddenly hurt as if someone stepped all over it. my eyes ran, and my lips quivered as i tried to control my breathing. beside me, felix found my hand and held it tight, so tight that it hurt almost just as much as my heart.

his parents gazed at us, at our intertwined fingers, and i don't know if it was just me, but their rigid postures and blank faces spoke in their own language, with words that would translate into meanings such as disappointment and— anger.

felix's mother, a woman with dark hair and freckled cheeks— looked at my own mother with low eyes, "i think you completely misunderstood the point of our son's stay here."

"i—" she began but froze, completely unaware of what she could possibly say.

"felix, go pack your things," his father suddenly spoke up instead, "you're leaving earlier than expected."

the younger boy stood beside me with tears in his eyes, a pale face and lips parted open in utter loss.

outside, the storm only grew stronger, as if on cue.

"are you deaf?" his father motioned, gripping felix's shoulder as he pushed him towards the stairs, felix staggered, our hands let go, "go pack! we're leaving—" he raised his voice.

that's when something snapped within me.

"how dare you?" i voiced, "you haven't seen felix for weeks! and what's the first thing you say? to pack up?" i paused, "are you out of your mind? how about asking him how he's doing? or hugging him? or simply saying hello?—"

"—boy, whatever your name is, you've no right to speak right now. this is a family matter," felix's father pointed a finger into my chest.

"—is this what you call taking care of a family matter?" i choked a laugh, "you're doing a pretty darn job at it."

"dear please, just leave," my mother's sweet tone attempted to coax me without avail as felix's parents fumed.

here go first impressions.

"what are you so mad about?" i asked them instead.

"look kid—"

"changbin."

"look changbin," the man began again, "we didn't come here to sort out some sick relationships—"

"—you're right," i interrupted, "you didn't come here, because i was the one who invited you. i asked my mom to arrange this so you could see how well felix is doing, but you threw a tantrum instead."

for a moment, silence overtook, and i realised what just slipped out of my mouth.

"it was you?—" felix's voice was quiet, but the front door's slam was deafening as he ran out.

    ———   

written: february 18, 2018 | 23:37

i've been procrastinating writing this because i don't want this story to end haha.. 15K VIEWS AND 2K VOTES HOLD ON WAIT WHAT i love you all