stray kids ; changlix | crash ↺

05 | xo

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i woke up to felix sleeping by my side, and i almost let a whimper escape my lips.

his dark hair was a mess on his head, and his freckles were like lost constellations on his exposed neck. breathing quiet, he snuggled closer for warmth and i swear my heart just stopped beating.

it should be illegal for someone to look so beautiful while they're asleep.

i vaguely remembered the mess i was in last night; immediately embarrassed as pink dusted my cheeks and i dug my face back into my pillow.

felix snored quietly, his mouth parted open a little.

i wanted to hide and avoid him for as long as he was staying here. but the other side of me couldn't deny that i never wanted this to end. because the younger boy was so sweet and embracing beneath his lonely appearance.

felix was so much more than what he was actually showing. and a part of me wanted to know about it all.

i couldn't explain it, couldn't understand why i was so attracted to a stranger.

and it was driving me insane.

as quietly as i possibly could, i peeled away felix's grip on my lower back and crawled out of bed — leaving the boy to sleep alone.

i knew it was still early in the morning, but i wouldn't be able to fall back asleep with felix beside me. instead, i had to clear my mind, calm down and figure out what i'm doing before breakfast hour rolls around.

grabbing a hold of my overused summer clothes from the pile on my chair, i peeked at the younger boy one last time before tip-toeing out from the room and then out from the house altogether.

i could hear my mother buzzing in the back-garden, spades against other tools that i could decipher in my sleep, but i avoided seeing her and just ran into the shed that i forgot to lock last night.

i pulled out my bicycle from its endless depths and rolled it out through the front gates before hopping on.

fingers clutching the handle bar, my body settling into a steady balance, and in a moment it was just me and my head again.

—surrounded by an after-effect of the passing storm.

it was a small town, but you could sneak in a little chaos with weather of such destructive kind. tree branches were lying around, flower pots smashed.

i might call chan to help me clear out this mess with the rest later on. community work at its finest, but that's the best we can do.

cycling deeper into the outskirts, i tried concentrating on the uneven paths that rumbled beneath the wheels. but the sun was cold, with mist settling along the horizons of the passing forests.

lost in the midsts of shivering winds and nameless thoughts, i realised that i killed all the necessary time way too fast and so i hurried to get back home. it was a quick cycle, a short route that i knew all too well when i zoned-out.

upon my destination, i realised that half of our fence-border was practically blown off and left toppling on our neighbours' tomato plantations. i sighed, knowing that the old couple will find a way to blame my family for the mess and force me to clean it up like last time.

i jumped off my bike and settled it against the side wall, promising myself an evening ride later on.

our front door wasn't locked during the day, and so i walked in without a thought; throwing my shoes off by the rack and shuffling into the kitchen from where i heard my mother's chirpy voice.

"changbin? he must have left to cycle, he's always out cycling," she was speaking to someone as i neared, a step away from entering.

"oh," there was a pause, "i just woke up and he wasn't there," felix's deep laugh echoed softly through our paper walls as he scratched the back of his neck.

my mother stopped what she was doing for a moment, "what do you mean?"

thanks felix, now she's going to get the wrong idea—

"uh it's just that—" he stuttered.

"—good morning!" i stepped in, getting myself a glass of water as i strode to the kitchen with two pairs of eyes on me. i leaned onto the sink counter and stared back, raising my eyebrow.

felix was obviously blushing, trying to find something to focus his gaze on while my mother wore a double expression; her usual kind one, which was masking her smirk.

"listen mom," i began, "granddad's room is leaking, like it's really bad, can you get someone to fix it?"

"sure," she mumbled, tilting her head, "does this mean that you slept with felix last night?"

"aish, don't phrase it like that!" i scoffed jokingly.

she laughed, her stare averting to felix who stood looking at his toes. "dear, is it okay for you to share the room with changbin for a while? we don't have spare mattresses and i don't want him sleeping in the living room because it gets quite cold even in the summer."

running his eyes between my mother and myself, he nodded, "it's changbin's room anyway, of course i wouldn't mind."

my mother clapped her hands lightly, "great. now help me set the table for breakfast," she beamed, returning to her whisking.

i shrugged and smiled at felix who returned the gesture with identical warmth. together, we quietly prepared the dining room for the morning meal and often stole glances at each other.

my mother came in later with a fresh batch of pastry treats and fried eggs.

"hey mom," i called her out, she hummed in response. "i'll get chan and go town for the day, there's a mess after those winds. then tomorrow, i'll help you and dad with the fence and garden, is that alright?"

"of course sweetie," she kissed the top of my head, "i'm happy i raised a good son like you." she was smiling, one of her proudest smiles, where you could see the crinkles beside her eyes that shone brightly no matter her age.

it's the same smile she wore when i told her that i loved her, or when i was seven and brought home a stray dog, or when i cried the night telling her i liked boys and that i was scared of being rejected by everyone.

"can you do me a favour though?" she pursed her lips, and i had a feeling that i knew exactly what it was. "take felix with you, would you? i'm sure he'd love to help out and spend some time with you and chan."

i sighed, somewhy relieved.

"hey felix," i called out his name, his attention diverting towards me immediately. "eat well, we've got a long day ahead."

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written: december 24, 2017 | 21:18

: this story is growing way faster than i ever expected, thank you. happy new year♡