stray kids ; changlix | crash ↺

epilogue | end credits

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i used to always cycle to school, completely ignoring the fact that the town bus was much faster and less exhausting.

there was always something about cycling that made me feel at home, made me feel safe. with stones rumbling beneath the wheels, and hands grasping tightly on the worn-leather handles — it was simply a way to get away from everything and breathe.

but now, sitting at the near back of the moving vehicle that buzzed with morning conversations and school uniforms — i couldn't help but stare out the dusty window panes and smile at the upcoming august sunrise.

faintly, i could hear seungmin and hyunjin fanboying over their favourite artists behind me, murmuring the likes of title songs and awaiting concepts in hushed tones. next to them— woojin was snoring lightly over his veterinary textbook, somewhat dreading his first day back at university after a semester's break. and somewhere away, i could spot jisung and minho — sharing a pair of earphones between themselves, melodies speaking instead of their voices.

i knew chan left by train earlier in the day to make it in time for work, and well, jeongin just missed the bus.

but none of that mattered at a moment like this, because we hit a small ramp, and on my shoulder, felix stirred awake from his dream and almost screamed, "are we there yet?"

i laughed, my gaze running through his messy blonde hair, large puppy eyes and his freshly-ironed new uniform. "no silly, we've still got like twenty minutes with this traffic."

he sighed, relieved as his chest heaved out slowly, "well then i can take another nap," i saw him smile as he leaned back into my touch. i wrapped my arm around him, pulling him closer as my fingers tangled through his hair.

"nervous?" i whispered.

felix hummed, his nose digging into my neck as his eyes fell close, "just a little."

"don't worry, i got you," i murmured softly, pressing my lips against his forehead.

"but what if they don't like me?" he suddenly panicked, eyes wide open.

i rubbed circles into his back, "i don't think that's possible," i chuckled.

he punched me lightly, blush on his cheeks, muttering curses about how i was being too soft. but i just laughed it off, pulled him closer, and let us sink into the silence of our heartbeats.

it's been a few weeks since they signed me out of the hospital with bruised ribs and a casted arm, and well, things really changed. 

apparently i was in a four-day coma after the accident where felix and i skidded into a barrier and crashed downhill. during our fall, i on instinct held onto felix, my arms around him like a shield as we tumbled into a ditch. this saved him, but put me unconscious for a while. 

from what my mother told me, felix recovered fast and used my phone to call her. then, herself and felix's parents rushed to us immediately with an ambulance at hand.

i was hospitalised without a second's thought, broken bones and a concussion, while felix was more mentally traumatised than anything else. he didn't suffer from any serious injuries, just cuts and bruises, and i think i cried when i found that out. because, i heard the doctors taking to felix's parents one night— if it weren't for me pulling the younger boy close to me as we fell, he would have damaged his lower spine again and would be paralyzed half-down forever.

i think that was one of the biggest factors that they considered when they let felix stay; the fact that i can protect him, that i'd put him before me anytime and anywhere.

then again, everything played a role, and in the end — felix was with me.

i remember dreading summer, the thought of cramping into my grandfather's old study and taking care of the new foreign visitor.

and then i remember wishing summer would never end, because i was in love with a person that could disappear like a dream.

but now that summer was gone, and autumn was taking over by its falling step, i realised—that this summer was just the beginning of another story.

because i had felix by my side, and no matter how many times we crash, and no matter how many storms we have to fight through — we would always end up together.

the end.

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written: march 27, 2018 | 23:33