“Can you take that frown off your face, Aurora? We’re bonding, you should be happy. You shouldn’t really be acting like that.”
My daughter Aurora looked at me like she’s having the worst time of her life. We were in ghe grocery. I picked her up from her university and dragged her all the way here so she can help me pick upthe supplies for this week. Nakasimangot lang siya, isang bagay na sigurado akong nakuha niya kay Judas Alonso. I shook my head.
“Anak, don’t you really wanna spend time with me? You’re growing up. Una, si Sam, she’s always with Bubut nowadays, tapos ikaw naman, palagi kang busy sa school with your duty and your always in due paper, anak spend time naman with Mama.”
Aurora made a face. She’s the female version of Judas. Magkamukhang – magkamukha silang dalawa para bang pinagbiyak na buko. I smiled at y daughter.
“Ma, something is bothering me.”
Naging seryoso ang expression ng mukha ko. Kung may problema ang anak ko, kailangan kong makinig. I want her to tell me everything kahit na sa mismong groecery pa iyon. Pinalayo ko muna ang maid na dala ko para mapakinggan kong maigi si Aurora.
“Yes, what is it, anak ko?”
“Ma, I’m sorry but in the years of my life I am always wondering why the fuck did you let Dad name your first born after his ex-girlfriend? Mom, I’m sorry, I love you but I don’t think that Dad loves you. I think that he only chose you because he didn’t want to end up alone unlike his friends who has their own family and it saddens me, Mom, because you deserve a marriage full of love and happiness. No one wants to be asecond choice, and I think that he made you his second choice, Mama and I hate him for it. You’re a good person and you deserve the world but he didn’t give you the world. He gave you pieces of what’s left of him.”
Aurora looked as if she was about to cry and my heart throbbed with pain. Hindi ko kahit kalian ginustong makita ang isa sa mga anak ko na nasasaktan. I have a feeling that she’s trying her best to hide that pero mukhang hindi na niya kinaya. She told me that in the middle of the fruits and vegetables section. Tumingala pa siya at saka sinubukang itago ang luhang kanina pa yata niya pinipigilan.
“It pains me to think that you were never his first choice and yet you loved him with all your heart. Doesn’t that make him unfair?”
“Oh, Aurora…” I held her hand and wiped her tears with my free hand. “Aurora, darling… you shouldn’t think that way…”
“Why? Do you think that he loved you the way you loved him? You deserve everything, Ma, but what did you get? Shattered pieces of what’s left of him. It doesn’t suit you. You shouldn’t have settled for him. You should have settled for a man who is best. Iyong lalaking hindi ipapangalan ang ex – girlfriend niya sa anak niya.”
I took a deep breath and hugged Aurora.I wanted to make her feel better and make her understand what really happened then. I don’t want her to think of her father that way because Judas, he is a good man. He might be deceiving but his soul was redeemed. I was sure of it.
“Stop, Aurora, just stop, my darling…”
