Love and Irritations

UMP

Replays on the tube - a great show and tell

Which one should I bring to class?

The inside scoop is that he gets along swell

With the players and the brass.

I've yet to attend a game I did not like

Nor one when I did not feel a surge of pride

But sometimes the crowd throws a hissy fit

And then I feel that I should hide.

That is my Dad over there, he is the man

With the black umpire's uniform on

He is a class act, graduate of ump school

Underneath his clothes, he has so much brawn

You will never see his smile, nor his gold wedding ring

Nor the pictures that he keeps in his wallet

He is the referee that controls the game

It's his job to call it

"You're out, you're safe, let's go, play ball!"

That is what he practices in front of the mirror

Three season ump, often on the road

Cleans home plate so clean that it shimmers

He's my hero.