Dead in Love (Nico x Reader)

A Sad Playlist

 Seriously, if anyone readings this is considering self-harm, DON'T. Talk to someone, me even if you want to. (Self-harm trigger warning)

   I slammed the cabin door shut and locked it for good measure. So what if Percy lives in Cabin 3 with me, he has friends he can stay with. Me? Not so much.

  I turned on the speakers I had Leo install, plugged my phone into the speakers, and put my saddest playlist on shuffle. A variety of Adele songs began playing as I walked mindlessly through the dark cabin. I found the only place of light the still existed, sunlight fighting its way out from under the curtains. I sat slowly down on the hardwood floor and watched as the light slid over my bare legs, stopping where my shorts began.

   When the pain cuts you deep 
 When the night keeps you from sleeping 
Just look and you will see
That I will be your remedy

  Was there someone who was willing to be my remedy? If there someone they didn't really show it very well. 

  An idea popped into my head, but I quickly tried in vain to shake it out. I squeezed my tearful eyes shut, trying to find any bit of positivity left in me. If there was any left I couldn't find it. I opened my eyes and look experimentally down at my wrist and lightly traced my finger across it. Looking away I pulled out my pocket knife and flicked open the knife. It glinted coldly in the gentle sunlight, it could be almost inviting if I hadn't sharpened it into a painful blade. Turning it deliberately to where the point was a breath away from the inside of my wrist I pressed it almost tenderly into my skin. I took it away hastily, but not soon enough.

  A bead of dark red blood popped up, growing steadily till it spilled off my wrist and dripped into a small puddle of tears on the floor that I didn't know had left my eyes. I watched quietly as the blood kept falling, gradually slowing, then stopping. I moved the grip of the knife more comfortably in my hand and placed the whole blade on my skin, drawing back slowly, leaving a reddening slice.

  But if you love me, why'd you leave me? Take my body, take my body. All I want is and all I need is to find somebody. I'll find somebody like you.

  The words from the song currently playing filled my head. I closed my eyes, more tears slipping out and mingling with the expanding drops of blood. Barely opening my eyes I made another cut on my wrists. I let the brief pain wash over me. I could finally feel physical pain that matched what was inside. I placed the pocket knife against my skin again, leaving another red stripe across my wrist. A knock sounded at the door, accompanied by a voice I couldn't hear over my music. I drew another red stripe. The knock came again, more urgent this time. I didn't care what the voice had to say so I didn't listen to it. I drew another. The knock sounded scary this time; I could tell whoever it was was desperate to get inside. 

  The door flew open and sunlight streamed eagerly in. I knew I must have looked crazy, depressing music blaring around me, a knife in my hands, eyes closed, blood and tears around my feet.

  "(Y/N)?" A black-clad person snatched the blade out of my hands, closed it, and flung it across the room, "gods." The person, now identified as Nico Di Angelo, gather me in his surprisingly warm arms and pulled me to him. I went limp against him, my head falling against his shoulder and I gave up. Tears fell silently and unstopped down my face while my open cuts dripped blood on Nico's ripped black jeans. Nico carried me easily over to my bed and turned off the music.

  "How long," he asked quietly, gently whipping one of many tears from my cheek.

  "Today," I hiccuped through my tears.