Dead in Love (Nico x Reader)

Why Did I Leave?

  It was three months ago that I made up my mind to leave Camp Half-Blood and two months ago that I left. I sat on my bed in the back of a small health store. It was the first job I found, and the owners were kind enough to let me live in a spare closet. It was almost time to open the store, so I took in the last few moments of peace and quiet. The store was small, but it was quite popular. 

  After making sure everything looked perfect, I turned the key in the lock just as the clock struck 9 o'clock. The usual customers walked in moments later. I waved, making my way behind the counter. 

  The hours dragged by as people came and went during the busy morning hours. I made small talk with the people who came in regularly. Asking about kids, grandkids, or dogs. That was my life. Until a certain ex-boyfriend walked in. Ex-boyfriend was a loss term. He wasn't really an ex-boyfriend, he was the boyfriend I left behind at Camp. I assumed we were exes, given the zero contact we'd had in the last two months. That's not what I really wanted, but that's how it probably is. Leaving him was an unfortunate cost of leaving Camp. One I'd wished to avoid if I could.

  Nico walked in at exactly 12:30. I imagine he was looking for some food. That was what we sold so that makes sense. I dropped behind the counter. It was my first instinct, but arguably not the best. It's not that I didn't love him anymore and that it would make things awkward, it's exactly the opposite. I still had strong feelings for him that made me question my decision to leave Camp every day.

  I could feel my heart pounding in my chest; I knew it wouldn't take long for him to feel my aura. I could feel his the second he walked in. I took a deep breath and stood up. I caught sight of him again and changed my mind.  I slipped into the back, hoping to delay the encounter that would 100% happen. I took one more attempt at a calming breath, then stepped back out.

  I pretended to be doing things just to keep my head down. I kept quiet as he walked over to the counter, dropping my usual greetings. He shuffled through his backpack and I was forced to look up to check what he wanted to buy. It was still a couple of seconds before he looked up. Longest seconds of my life. He turned to stone when he did. My face turn red as I watched him try to process who he was looking at.

  "What the hell," he whispered, still staring at my face. "What the actual hell." His voice rose.

  "I don't know, what the hell?" I leaned on the counter, trying, and failing, to remain casual.

  "I don't know!?" He ran his hands through his hair, stopping halfway through, "How?" I shrugged, which was probably really aggravating to Nico. He couldn't see my hand shaking under the counter.

  "Why?" He reached out to touch me but second-guessed himself.

  "I didn't belong there," I answered quietly.

  "What?" Nico took my hand, second-guessing his second guess, "Yes you did!"

  "You don't get it," I said. The feeling of his skin against mine shot through my body.

  His laugh was bitter. "Do you not know who I was in middle school? I was the definition of not belonging."

  "You had a reason to not belong," I stared at our hands, "I don't."

  He grimaced and shook his head. "There's no reason behind it. It just happens. I didn't choose it and neither did you."

  "I can't go back," I said, taking my hand away, "And you can't tell Percy, or anyone, that you found me. If they knew and came to see me, my cover would be blown and I'd be fighting monsters every day."

    "What am I supposed to do then? Forget I ever found you? Remove you from my life?" Nico cradled the hand he had touched me with like it hurt him not to hold mine. 

  "That would be ideal for you, so probably. Yes."

  "No, it would not be 'ideal for me'," he shot back angrily, "it would kill me! I'd relapse into depression. I'd-I'd... I don't know what I'd do but it would be drastic and dumb!"  Nico did that guy thing where they run their hands through their hair and turn away like they were looking for help.
 
  "I don't know what to tell you.." I said quietly.

  "Tell me you'll come back!" Nico took both my hands and held them desperately, "Tell me that I didn't spend every waking hour the moment you left trying to find you for nothing! Please?!"

  "If I told you yes it would be a lie. Camp Half-Blood is supposed to be a place where everyone is included. But it wasn't for me. It won't ever be for me." Nico's hands went limp in mine and slid onto the counter. He looked at me blankly. 

  "Nico... I-"

  "You what?!" He said.

  "I love you..." I muttered for a reason beyond me.

  "I love you too. See my problem?"

  "We could get an apartment..." I suggested to myself mostly. I knew what a bad idea it was, but I said it anyway.

   "Are you kidding?"

   "Well, I've been working here for a month. It pays well..."

  "You want me to just get up and leave everything I have at Camp to go live with my 18-year-old, I don't know what you are to me?! Lover?" Nico looked at me, a hand still on his forehead.

"You don't have to, I just can't go back to Camp-" Nico leaned across the counter and silenced me with a kiss.

  "I'd do it in a heartbeat." When he pulled away, the difference in his face was night and day. He was smiling at me, the way he used to at Camp. 

   "What are we waiting for?" I grinned back. Nico pushes his long-forgotten food to the edge of the counter so he could slide over. 

  "You know that's against store policy," I whispered, "customers are allowed on the other side of the counter."

  "Get used to it," Nico whispered to my cheek.