The Billionaire's Secret

36

confused

"What is all of this?" I gesture towards the roses and candles around my old room. "Am I interrupting something?" I scoff and start to leave when he grabs my upper arm.

"Please." I could hear the desperation in his voice and I was stupid enough to stay to hear his explanation. "It's for you."

"What do you mean it's for me?"

"It's an apology. I miss you so much, Ashley. It's been hell without you here."

"Oh really? I could barely tell when your lips were connected to someone else's."

"I know there's no way for me to justify what I did but I can't explain how much I've been missing you."

"Jake-"

"I wasn't supposed to feel this way." He begins to pace and run his fingers through his hair.

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't supposed to happen, Ashley. It wasn't part of the deal."

"Deal? What the hell are you on about, Jake? What deal?" I wanted to hit him to knock some sense into him but he just stopped pacing and grabbed my shoulders.

"Ashley, I fúcking fell for you. And I fell hard. I wasn't supposed to fall for you and I sure as hell didn't want to hurt you. Please give me another chance and I'll explain everything."

"Jake-"

"Please. Let me spoil you again and then I can explain what's going on."

"Do you understand how stupid that sounds? Why in the hell would I give you another chance when I don't even know what's going on?"

"You have to trust me, Ashley."

"I trusted you before, Jake and look where that got me. I didn't come here to hear your apologies and a sob story. I came here to get my things and that's what I'm going to do."

I made my way around him to get to my old drawers to get my clothes out. I heard Jake behind me mumbling things but I couldn't understand.

"What?" I asked without even turning around to acknowledge him.

"I need this, Ashley. I need you." He placed his arms around my waist and placed his chin on my shoulder.

"Jake." I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I tried my best to hold them back. I promised myself I wouldn't let him see me vulnerable. I couldn't give him that type of power.

"Ashley." I could hear the pain in his voice and I just wanted to turn around and kiss him.

"Please stop doing this." I placed my hands on top of his as they laid on my waist.

"Stop doing what? Showing you that I'm nothing without you? I am, Ashley. I'm not afraid to admit that my life without you is a living hell. You were here for a year, Ashely. A fucking year."

"I know, Jake. Stop trying to make me feel bad." The tears came down and my voice begins to shake as I spoke.

"Don't fight it. You want it just as badly as I do. I know I fucked up. I don't want to be reminded of how badly I did. I understand you probably hate my guts. That's reasonable but I want to change for you, Ashley. You make me want to change."

I turned around to face him and placed my hands on the dresser behind me. He kept his hands in placed and squeezed my lower back.

"I'm just so confused. I want to hate you so bad and you're making it really hard. You shouldn't have had your lips on another girl but you did. Every time I look at you, I see you in the elevator with her. I can't get over it just like that, Jake. I wish I could but I can't." I looked down at the floor to avoid his pleading eyes.