Rudolph Saves Christmas

The Not So Christmas Elf

For one night of the year

Time stands still

Up at the North Pole

On a certain small hill

The snowflakes don't fall

And the wind doesn't blow

But across the world rings

A loud "Ho, ho, ho!"

For Santa's almost ready

To take his presents with good cheer

And everyone is smiling

At the best time of the year

But in the toy shop

Right out back

There's an unhappy face

As the Not-So Christmas Elf

Is in his hiding place

Buried under boxes

And wrapping paper too

The Not-So Christmas Elf

Wants to spoil it

Just for you

He's waiting until

The chance is there

Till everyone has gone

Then he'll creep out

To sabotage

And make it all go wrong

He'll break...

Arms off dolls

And wheels off cars

Make bicycles

With no handlebars

Monopoly

With no money

And Christmas trees

He'll make from peas

So when you hang

The tinsel on

It will fall down

And then be gone!

Laptops will be

Without a screen

And then

Just to be really mean

He'll take the sweets

From the selection box

And replace them all

With smelly socks

I don't know if he'll do it

Or if he will be caught

Or if he will be good instead

Just like the elves were taught

But he's the Not-So Christmas Elf

You see

So changing his mind

I cannot believe

I suppose we'll know

On Christmas Day

If Santa came to call

Cos there'll be presents

Under the Christmas tree

Or maybe...

Nothing at all...