Where the Tattoos and Flowercrowns Combine BoyxBoy

Chapter 14: Reflections and Reminensce

Dear Diary,
Things have gone so well this week with my lovely boyfriend Cameron Matthew Spears. He's amazing to me in every single way, shape and form. I need to get ready for our date, it's our 2 week anniversary and he's taking me to his families little Italian place to meet them all.
        Wish me luck,
                An excited boy!
1.15.14

Dear diary,
     I would say I have a pretty good boyfriend. Cameron has been concerned about my weight and asked me to cut down my meals a little bit and starting running with him! Isn't he the sweetest thing?
         From,
              One lucky man!
1.22.14

Dear diary,
       I've been getting slightly lightheaded since my new diet but I'm sure it's just me getting used to it and nothing more. I'm going to the doctors because mom's not letting me get out of it.
          Will give updates,
                        One sick boy
1.29.14

Hey,
   I know it's been a while. Cameron has been taking up my time...I'm scared. We got in a fight and he's hit me...again! He's been drinking a lot since his dad died and I'm sure that's why it's happening, no other reasons. I just hope I'll give the boy I fell in love with back...I...miss him like crazy. And I know he means well.
             Much love,
                        One hopeful boy.
2.29.14

   Diary,
          You're all I have left at this point. I'm terrified of that monster. I don't want to stay anymore but I can't leave him. He needs me and I'd be just as bad as him if I left. I don't know what I feel anymore. My family is blinded and they see him as the perfect man for their little baby boy. I...I can't ruin his image for them. They'll be heartbroken and angry at their naive nature. My tears are currently covering the paper as if I was writing in the rain, nothing new though. I've been nothing but skin and bones...lost 20 lbs and am now at 100. I don't feel well, my stomach is rejecting food, I look pale and see the nurse at school more often than my own friends...they're scared for me. Say I'm going to die.
             Only time can tell,
                     One boy scared out of his mind.
3.12.14

Dear diary,
     He...raped me. I...told him no and he kept going. I tried to stop him, God knows I did but I was too weak. My 6 years of Karate did nothing for me considering my bones can barely support me, much less push off 160 lbs. Maybe this was his plan all along. Break me until I'm nothing and want to die. I feel disgusting. I took 45 minutes in the bath and continuously scrubbed every place he dared touch me. No scratch that. Every place he dared VIOLATE me. I'm terrified, and Lianne is starting to catch on that my scratches aren't from the neighborhood dogs "playing rough". Should I tell her?
So long,
One heartbroken boy
3.19.14

Dear Diary,
I told her and Lianne is disgusted. Wants to turn him in but...I can't. I can't do this to him even though he so badly deserves it. What's wrong with me? It's been almost 3 months of pain, 3 months of agony and crying myself to sleep for half of it. Why can't I just turn him in? Why won't I let her tell my parents about the criminal that he is? Why? Why? Why? I just want to die. I don't want to be here any longer suffering. I don't care if I go to hell for suicide, can't be worse than the hell I'm experiencing here.
Goodbye,
One done boy
3.26.17
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear family,
     Do not hate yourself for the things you're about to read. You couldn't have known nor could you have stopped any of it. I love you all. You were the perfect family and will never be anything other than my dream people. It was his fault, not yours.