Gone, Lost and Alone

Chapter 9|It's Him

  I am sitting in English class, five minutes early, going through a mental checklist.
The twins were in school. Check
I didn't forget to pack their lunch. Check
My babysitting and study schedules had been adjusted and up to date. Check.
The house was clean, and I'd finally removed that odd stinky green and purple mass I'd found under kitchen sink...no idea what it is or was but Lacy did look guilty when I retched after disposing of it.
Meals for the week already prepared and stored in the freezer. Check
Uncle Ian was away as usual. Nothing new.
The rent and the electricity bills were due. He left that for me to pay of course. I would need to dip into my college savings. I made a mental note to get that done after school.
I sighed and made another mental note to find a new job or two...something freelance.
Or I could just rob a bank.

The bell rang and my classmates shuffled in begrudgingly. They'd no doubt been waiting for the last possible minute to come in.
Can't blame them, no one exactly awaited the commencement Mr Thomson's classes with bated breath. No, they awaited the conclusion.
Mr Thomson walked in.

What comes to your mind when you think of a boring teacher?
Someone middle aged, balding with glasses perched on his nose? Yup.
You just described Mr Thompson.
He cleared his throat and began speaking.
Two seconds later, I cleared mine and stopped listening.

I looked around the class instead, at the usual faces...the same ones I'd seen for years but barely talk to.
I nod at a few... Rita, James, Riley.
We share the usual ' Lord have mercy' look every one shares when in Mr Thomson's class.

Forget pep rallies. There's nothing like a boring class to unite students.
I noted Sean had his head on the table,already fast asleep. I snorted, unsurprised.
The carefree child, I thought, rolling my eyes.

I gave myself a minute to feel fondness over my best friend then stomped it down and caged the feeling with imaginary titanium.

Remember the goal, I chanted.
Forget Sean, you can survive without him, I told myself, over and over again.
What was the goal again? I sighed for the millionth time.

Giving up, I reached into my bag and pulled out my some wool and pins. I began to knit, humming softly to myself.

Mr Thompson kept droning on about something...Concords I think.

There was a collective sigh when the bell signaled the end of the class.
I chuckled, putting the two newly knitted headbands and an unfinished scarf into my bag and heading to my next class.

I was sitting outside, under a tree during lunch, trying to finish the scarf I'd been knitting.
I was getting frustrated when the geometric pattern I was trying to create wasn't turning out the way I wanted it to.
Then a shadow blocked out a good chunk of sunlight.
I looked up.
'HI', the shadow said, moving back until I finally saw his face. I froze.

' I'm Damien'.
He probably thought I was mute. Or stupid...maybe not mute, since I had talked the last time. Right? I couldn't remember. So, stupid I concluded. Definitely stupid.

I cleared my throat.
That's becoming a habit.
' We met remember? I'm the pizza guy? ', he said again, smiling, his hands in his pockets.
Like I could forget him.
I'd spent as much as I could on pizza hoping to see him, to talk to him, find out why he seemed so familiar, like I'd always known him.

Now here he is, standing in front of me and I'm supposed to reply...right...preferably with words..words that form sentences.

This is why our English teacher should be fired. We learn zilch from him.

'Uhhhh' was all I could manage.
Great. My brain is fried. How nice.

He sat next to me.

He motioned, indicating my scarf
'That's really good. Do you sell them?'

I started at the scarf like it just dropped into my lap. I blinked.
' Um...yes. Or at least I plan to.'

Words. Finally...I guess it was easier when I wasn't looking at him...that's what you get for only ever talking to two people your age.
Two people who you no longer talk to.

' On Etsy?' he asked, drawing me away from my thoughts.

' Yeah', I replied most eloquently.

' That's cool'
He smiled at me.
I turned to mush. He was looking at me like I had all of his attention.

I wasn't even attracted to him, and my feelings for Sean were still there but he looked at me like he could see me...really see me, and as corny as it sounds, it was really, really nice.

I smiled back. ' I'm B'