Gone, Lost and Alone

4|Yelling, Laughing, Shouting

    I don't remember when, but it didn't take long before my nightmare ended.
Instead of cold, numbing pain, I suddenly felt warm and cozy, the smell of gingerbread, calming me.

I shuddered, relieved. A hand rubbed my arms in circles and I fell into a deep sleep, my brain too fuzzy to process anything.

  When I woke up, I was trapped in Sean's arms that radiated tempting warmth. My heart begged to go back to sleep but I resisted. I elbowed Sean in the ribs.

"Owwwww!"

"Wake up, big head!" I ordered.

"Um, ouch!" he got up. "What did I do?"

" Do you really need me to tell you?" I said, glaring at him.

"Look, I'm sorry!", he apologized and then, he started blabbing.
"I was busy, so I couldn't pick your call, but when I saw it I knew you were having your attacks again, but it was late and you did give me that spare key, and I saw you having a bad sleep, so I told mum I was staying over and I was just trying to help you sleep well, and it obviously helped, since you have the strength to hit me so you should actually be thanking me,because..."

I hit him with a pillow to shut him up.

" You lying, horrible, selfish, fake, deceitful, mean, betraying, secretive, idiot! How dare you! I should be thanking you? What for? For months, I haven't had any panic attacks! I thought I had out grown it! And then yesterday, you blew me off! You know I don't get much time to have fun! You... "

" B, I'm sorry," he interrupted," I didn't...
"Shut up! You abandoned me and went out on a date! We are best friends! We promised we won't keep secrets from each other!
We know everything about each other and then suddenly I find out that my best friends are going out on a date!
I had absolutely no clue, no idea, zilch, nothing." Tears were gathering in my eyes and my voice trembled ." You guys didn't even tell me, or give anything away!"

And I thought you were in love with me, I almost said.

" Look I'm so sorry, but things are changing. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I like Rachel, okay? We just want this to work out. But B, you can't depend on me for everything.
I have my own life to live. I can't always drop everything when you want me to.
I get that what happened was bad, even way worse than mine but you will be just fine without running to me for comfort."

For like ten seconds, I just stared at Sean. He knew what happened and yet he just uttered the most stupid words he had ever said (and believe me, there has been a lot!)

"Sean get out."I barely whispered.

He gave me a tight smile and left. He didn't look back.

I ran my hands through my hair frustrated. I wanted to curl up in a corner and cry but then I remembered my two little responsibilities.

There were still asleep. They were deep sleepers. You could blast an air horn near them and all they'd do is stir and then go back to sleep.

I checked my phone.
It was 8.50am and I two texts both asking if I could babysit. I texted back that I could and went to shower.

  Apart from the yelling competition between Sean and I, I had a pretty good day.

I had finished with showering, washing and cleaning. Lacy and Liam showered without too much trouble, and we had eaten breakfast.

Then the door bell rang.
I opened it to find Mr Jyke and his 6 year old daughter, Melinda.

"Good afternoon, sir."

"Hello Buttercup. I've come to drop off Melinda. I'll be back by 6 if you don't mind"

"Of course not sir" I replied politely.

"Great!" he knelt to his daughter's height. "Bye darling."

"Bye daddy", the blond freckled sweetheart replied and hugged him. Then we both walked into the house.

"Wanna draw some pictures , honey pie?" I asked.

"Yes, please!"

Liam ran towards Melinda."Hi!Come and see my new crayons!"

And off they went to the room he shared with Lacy, just next to mine. They stayed near me so I could check on them at night.

Lacy ran to me, frowning "Liam won't let me touch his crayons!"
I sighed."Lacy..."

The bell rang again.

This time it was Mr Joe, Ian's colleague. He was with 5 months old Nathan, his adopted son.

"Hello B, sorry his mum was too lazy to come herself," he chuckled and handed me baby Nathan and his bag filled with his baby stuff.

"I do hope I remembered everything. Now I must run along, bye B!"

"Bye, Mr Joe." I waved, smiling.

"Where are you little devils!" I said, laughing.

Nathan was asleep, so we were playing hide and seek which was hard since our house was quite big.

I ran up the stairs and searched the rooms, then came down to search the living room.
I was about to leave when the curtains moved.

Creeping over, I slowly raised it to find Melinda there, her eyes tightly closed.

"Gotcha!" I tickled her and she squealed. " One down, two to go."

As I said that, I heard quiet footsteps in the kitchen.

I found Liam hiding in a cupboard. I tickled him to
"You caught me, B! Now let me go", he said, laughing.

"Okay, fine, now let's look for Lacy.", I instructed when Melinda came into the kitchen.
Together we haunted Lacy but couldn't find her.
We heard movements in my room, so up we went but she wasn't there.

We heard a sound up the attic, under the stairway, in Ian's room, the living room, every where but she was nowhere.

We went to check the kitchen again, but, no she wasn't there.

We gave up and lied down on the floor.
"We'll never find her!" Melinda groaned and Liam nodded.
I agreed too. Then I heard the door knob squeak.

"This stupid house keeps making stupid sounds," I whined getting up. I had half a mind to kick the door hard.
I opened it instead and there I found Lacy giggling.

"You sneaky girl! We had given up looking for you!"

"B! Hi!"

I looked up to see Rachel walking up to me, her face glowing.

"I had a blast yesterday! Sean and I went to the zoo, we ate cotton candy till we nearly puked, we took super weird selfies and laughed like we were pyschos on steroids!I'll send you the pics. I'm so happy, B!" she held my hands and squeezed, squealing. "I can't believe he finally asked me out."

"Rachel please just shut up. You kept such a big secret from me and you expect me to be happy? I can't believe you!" I was shouting now. "I'm I that unimportant? That you can't tell me your secrets? That you can't trust me?"

"B, it's not like that!Please." she begged.

I didn't listen. Before I could start crying again, I pulled Lacy inside and shut the door.

Hey guys!Thoughts? Comments? Do you think Rachel and Sean are terrible friends?