Ready, Aim, Fire

Chapter Ten

"I'm scared because I love you!"

My words seem to hang in the air for what seems like forever. Bellamy just stares at me, his mouth slightly open in what seems like surprise. After a forever of silence, I close my eyes and put my head in my hands.

"You what?"

I quickly remove my hands from my face and stare up at Bellamy. "What?" I ask, making my confusion clear. There is no way he couldn't have heard me. I'm pretty sure I screamed it loud enough for the entire village to hear me. "You." He pauses and takes a step closer to me. "Love." He takes another step closer. "Me?"

Bellamy is now close enough that if I move my foot even the slightest bit forward, our boots would be touching. I close my eyes and try to think of a way to get out of this. Of course Bellamy doesn't love me yet. We've known each other for little over a month, and I've already fallen head-over-heels in love with him. Well, here goes nothing.

"Uhh..." Is the brilliant thing that comes out of my mouth. Bellamy raises his eyebrows at the oh so intelligent response before I huff out in frustration. "Okay, yes. Yes. I, Carter Griffin, love you, Bellamy Blake. I know, it's only been a short amount of time since we've started to really get to know each other, but I have fallen in love with you. And going back to the whole thing before I told you that, I'm scared to lose you. I've lost everyone else I've come to love, and I can't lose you too." I rush out before looking down to our boots on the ground. "I can't lose you too." I mumble, feeling tears gather in my eyes.

"Carter..." I hear Bellamy whisper, but I keep my eyes lasered in on my boots. "I know, okay. I get it. You don't love me. But, I'm still willing to be..." I trail off, trying to think of the words. "Whatever we are now, even if you don't love me as long as you're happy with it too."

"Carter..."

"I mean, who would ever really want to love me now, anyway."

"Carter..."

"Everyone who does just ends up dead."

"Carter!"

I stop my rambling and look up at his face. There's a small smile there and a new spark in his eyes. "When will you ever stop with the rambling?" He asks, causing me to shrug my shoulders. His hand grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. "I ramble when I'm nervous." I say, my voice soft as his hand slides across my jaw line and rests on the back of my neck. "I know." He says with a small shake of his head as a smile blooms across his face.

Bellamy leans down and pulls me into a slow kiss. One of his hands moves to cradle the back of my head while his other gently caresses my cheek. His chapped but soft lips move slowly against mine, as if trying to memorize the feel of them. My hands move to ball up the material of his jacket as I desperately cling onto this moment. I know that Bellamy will leave in the morning to go alone into Mount Weather, and I know I won't be able to stop him.

Bellamy pulls away first but rests his forehead against mine. I keep my eyes closed, knowing when I open them this moment will be gone. "I'll be okay." Bellamy says, moving his hand from the back of my head to rest on my other cheek. Both of his thumbs rub under my eyes. I don't know when I started crying. "I just can't lose you too." I say, fluttering my eyes open and placing my hands over his. "You won't" He says, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "You know why?" He asks, and I shake my head as best as I can in response.

"Because I love you."

My lips part in a silent gasp as my eyes widen in shock. "I will always come back to you. I will always fight my way back to you." He says, an intensity in his eyes that I've never seen before. "Because I." He presses a kiss to my forehead. "Love." A kiss to my nose. "You." A kiss to my chin. "Carter." He finally places his lips back onto mine, and I let my hands leave his and wrap them around his neck.