Undiscovered

35.

Songs for this chapter - 

No Ordinary Girl - Indiana Evans 

(Sorry, I've been watching h2o non stop this week, haven't watched in years haha!  Sorry for the late update guys! I've been so stressed out with all of my exams and last week was packed with them, I've only got three exams left now so I have a lot more time. I don't know when the next update will be, once I get these two exams out of the way this week, I should be able to update then, I haven't got a lot more revising to do, it's just last minute cramming. If anyone is sitting exams right now, good luck to you all and I hope you all do well. Well, enjoy this chapter anyway! love y'all!!)

Emilee's POV

*Hey! How are you?*

I don't even know how to reply. What am I supposed to say? I'm fan-fucking-tastic? That I'm the biggest dickhead to walk the planet and I miss you?

*How are you?*

I can't even answer the question, I have to divert it. It's only been a week since I've seen him and it's already killing me. What have I done to him?

Why do I always let my self confidence get in the way of every single decision I make?

I always fuck it up on the last minute. I don't even just hurt myself anymore, I actually hurt the people who I cut it all off with. Why do I have to do this to myself?

I've been an absolute mess since the day he walked out of here. I haven't been happy, I feel depressed, I'm not eating properly and the hospital are starting to notice.

My bed has been freezing in the nights and his smell isn't lingering around my apartment anymore. This is torture but I think I would rather put up with this pain that put him in pain.

I need the space and if he's willing to give it to me, then I'm more than happy to take it while I can.

I've been driving myself insane and I've had nothing to do with myself. Shall I just grow a pair and go and see Harry? Or shall I just wait and see if he comes back to me?

DAY ONE

I can't even remember most of today. Its's Wednesday, that's all I seem to know. I haven't really done anything today other than get out of bed and have a shower. It's been three hours and I'm still sitting on my bed wrapped in a towel wondering why I even bothered to get out of bed.

I don't even know what to think, the only thing that's in my head is the look of hurt on Harry's face from last night after I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. I think that image will be imprinted on my brain for the end of time. The only thing I have to remember is that this is for the best, Harry will move on and be happier with someone who can give him everything he wants, instead of being with someone like me.

DAY TWO

I really didn't want to leave my bed this morning, but I had to. I had to get up and get ready to go to the hospital to have some more blood transfusions, these things are starting to piss me of slightly.

It's getting in the way of my day-to-day life, ergh I just wish I didn't have this stupid fucking illness.

All I feel like doing today is either sleeping away the whole day or shopping all day to drown my thoughts, nothing more or nothing less, that's it.

I had a horrible sleep last night, I was just awake all night thinking about Harry. Thinking about his delicate touches and his rough hands on my body, it was horrible thinking about it all and not having it. I had to drown out my thoughts but putting on some shitting film to try and fall asleep to, three films later and I ended up falling asleep through pure boredom I presume.