hey?
can anyone hear me?
hello?
no...should've known
it's not that you can't hear me
you really don't listeni should be used to it though
i don't know why i always bother
i care
that is my problem
i tend to blow thing out of proportion
but that is my fault
i built my castle on false hopes and empty promises
i mean what i say
do i?
i lie when i say i'm alright
all my friends joke
they laugh it off with a simple "same"
same?
is my life only worth a four-letter word?
i cry myself to sleep most nights
that's if i'm lucky enough to even fall asleep
you don't understand the stress i go through at home
you can't hear all the insults thrown at me
i am told countless things that make most people hate someone
i forgive those who don't even the carbon dioxide i breathe out
i stress myself over the little things
i avoid looking in the mirror
i exclude myself from hanging out with people
i get jealous when my friends hang out with each other and don't invite me
i am a bomb just waiting to explode
i am my own grenade
i self destruct every time there is a glimmer of hope
i refuse happiness and love
i am guilty of this myself
"don't tell me i don't make you happy"
you don't
no one does
no one at all
not my friends
family
no one
you're no exception
i am only a pawn in world's game of chess
i fall in love too fast
i trust too easily
so it's the new year soon
i refuse you
i refuse him
i refuse her
i refuse them
i don't want to be friends
i don't want to have friends
they are temporary
they stab you in the back
i will lie if you ask me how i feel
how am i doing
i don't know
you shouldn't care
i'm called pessimistic
but do you really care?
you ask to see if i'm still here
to listen to your whiny ass
i won't
i'm done
call me mean
it's the truth
