i feel trapped in my own emotions
almost as if i imprisoned myself
my crime was holding everything in
and my verdict was guilty
i want to run away from this feeling
but the problem is more like an ocean
there is no way to run but only to swim
and i forgot how so i'm drowning
i always forget how i can ask for help
but when i remember
i merely wish i had forgotten
i get judged instantly
i am told to look at the positive
i want to scream as my chest caves in
i don't see one and the tunnel is a dead end
the other end is slowly closing also
whenever i run to it
the distance seems to only increase
when i am able to grasp the happiness
it turns to a bar of soap
the world's chatters turn my smile into tears
the soap slips from my hands into the sewage grate that i stand on
the glimmer of fortune shines in the bottom
i try so hard to express my true emotionsbut my mouth falls into a tight lipped smile
i merely say nothingas in nothing was right
but the question was asked wrong
nothing
i lie all the time
and i question myself
i doubt myself
not confident
i don't care if a million people tell me i'm pretty
that i'm smart, or kind
i am not and it will always be that way
i want to disappear but not die
i want to see what would happen if i just left
people's reactions and if they would miss me
people say you need to conquer your fears
how can i when mine is the fear of being forgotten
but my biggest fear is myself
