CHAPTER 3
"So next game natin, against NU. Bei, sabihin mo nman kay Jaja huwag masyadong galingan, since friends naman kayo."
"Hoy Bei, heads on the clouds ka na naman." Jia said at may kasama pang pitik sa tenga.
"What?" I asked irritated and giving dagger looks at them.
"Isang linggo na yang ganyan, may rainy clouds na kabuntot yan parang cartoons lang."Ako na naman napagtripan ng mga teammates ko.
"Pagod lang ako guys. Pasensya na."
"Pagod? Don't me nga. Pare-pareho lang tayo ng load at pare-pareho lang din tayong nagtraitraining, pero hindi naman kami kasing bangag mo." Maddie reprimanded.
Can you blame me? Since that night, I can't help but think of different ways how to punch myself for doing what I've done. I've been thinking about...Wait. I think that's...
"Sige na guys, may gagawin pa pala ko. See you later."I said suddenly and I left without waiting for their protests.
"Hey!"
Parang dejavu to, ngayon nga lang I'm the one chasing her instead of the other way around.
"Psst." Sa tingin ko naman narinig nya ako, kasi mas binilisan nya yung lakad nya. Buti na lang mas mahaba ang legs ko sa kanya kaya naabutan ko din sya.
"Jho, wait please."I held her wrist, gently of course, kaya napatigil siya. She just looked at me without any emotions on her face and waited for me to say something.
"I'm so sorry. The other night was a big mistake. I wasn't thinking. You're just so funny and different and cute. And namisinterpret ko lang yung mga nangyari."I pleaded. Medyo egoistic, pero I really thought she was at least into me. I thought there was something with the way she's been following me and trying to talk to me. I was wrong. "And I'm kind of lonely."I added. Well, that too.
Her face soften slightly and she appears to be thinking.
"I know, those aren't good reasons, those are lame excuses. Kaya I'll admit na lang the truth, I'm a jerk. I'm fucked up for doing that to you. I'm really sorry. It won't happen again. I promise. Please forgive me?" I don't know how she'll forgive me since hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin mapatawad ang sarili ko sa nagawa ko. I know she's not that kind of girl and every girl should be respected. I still can't believe na I became like one of those hormonal boys that I dislike.
"Okay." She finally said. I was stunned.
"Really? Okay?" I wanted her to forgive me but I didn't really expect her to forgive me.
"Yup. Holding a grudge with someone lessens life expectancy, hehe," She joked. At parang nabunot na yung tinik sa dibdib ko. I feel like I can breathe again.
"Serious?" Hindi ko na mapigilang ngumiti.
"Oo nga, kulit din no. You sound sincere, but no third chances okay? Huli na 'to. No kagagguhan na ah. I'm not that kind of girl."
"Yes, definitely. Never again. I promise." I gave her my most sincere smile.
Napatawa siya. " Ang creepy ng smile mo. Tara na nga."
"Creepy agad? I'm just soooooooooooooo happy. I never thought I'd see you again. Hindi ka na napunta sa cafe."
"Naks, inaabangan mo ba ang beauty ko?"
"Yes, I did." I said seriously. Nung isang araw ko pa napansin, hindi naman siya sobrang ganda pero ewan ko ba, kapag nagtagal parang namamagnify yung kagandahan niya. So I wasn't really lying when I told her that.
Nag-iwas naman lang siya ng tingin, maybe she's uncomfortable kaya iniba ko na lang ang usapan. "Gusto mo libre kita ng Angel's burger? Peace offering?"
"Bumabawi ka talaga ah. Okay,never naman akong tumanggi sa pagkain, hehe."
"Takaw talaga."
"Whatever! Free food is free food."
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"So tell me about the girl."
Kakatapos ko lang siya ilibre ng burger, pinipilit pa niya ko kainin yung kapartner nung burger niya but I declined. Hindi naman sa nag-iinarte pero hindi talaga sanay sa ganung food ang tyan ko, baka dito pa ako abutin. Now, andito lang kami sa isang bench nagpapahangin. I should have known na magsisimula na naman siyang mangulit. Hays.
"Who?"maang-maangan na lang ako.
Hindi din gumana dahil pinanlakihan lang niya ako ng mata.
"There's nothing to tell."I said still avoiding the question.
"How did you meet?"ayaw talaga paawat. Sige na nga.
I sighed and started to tell my story. "Four years ago, I met her through a friend, a year after, we fell in love. Two years after she left me. Satisfied?" Still hurts to talk about it. I don't really talk about it pero ewan ko ba kung bakit nagcoconfess ako sa babaeng ito ngayon. Kulit niya kasi.
"Bakit ka niya iniwan?"
"Kasama ba ito sa interview?"I asked instead trying to laugh it out. She just shook her head. Himala seryoso din siya. Parang napakainvested naman niya sa love life ko.
"Well, family issues. Her parents don't want me for her. They're very religious kasi and traditional. At yun hindi niya ako nagawang ipaglaban." She was my first love. Our two years was just so incredible, almost perfect. Maybe that's why it's so hard to let go.
Flashback
"Jan, what if naghiwalay tayo?"
"Bakit naman tayo maghihiwalay?"
"Well, maybe you'll find someone better than me."
"Better? How can there be someone better, when I got the best?"
"Breezy mo. But I love it."
"Of course you do. You so so so love me. Kaya never tayong maghihiwalay."
"Really lang? So 'till we're gray and old?"
"'til we''re gray and old."
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"But did you?"
"Huh?"
"Well, she didn't fight for you but did you fight for her?" she asked curiously.
"Uhm, I- it wasn't my place. It was her family versus me so it was all up to her and I just respected her choice."
"So, you didn't."Ano bang gustong palabasin nito? Parang ako pa yung gusto niyang sisihin sa paghihiwalay namin ni Jana.
"As I said it was suppose to be her choice. It was already a losing battle for me, so why fight."I said defensively. Napasmile naman siya, alam na niyang medyo naiinis ako. Sensitive topic kasi.
"Why not. Even if it's a losing battle, at least lose fighting, not lose without doing anything. Even if you lose, at least you tried. At least you could say that you've done everything you can." Again, this girl left me speechless.
I never really thought of it that way. When we broke up, I was hurt and angry. I always blamed her for what happened. It was a constant struggle for me to both hate and love someone. But I guess, Jho was right. I could have fought for her too. I could have shown her parents that I'm good enough for her. I could have. But it's too late.
"It doesn't matter now. It's over so..."I just let my words hang in the air.
"You should get her back." she said encouragingly.
I didn't know what to say so I just smiled back at her. I don't know why, but her words just didn't seem right to me.
