FOUL BURDENS.

CHAPTER 21.

BEEP....BEEP...
Argh! Hospitals suck. Apart from the machines beeping, I try listening to any other sound in the room. I feel a nagging migraine banging at the side of my head with a ferocious force. My eyes move underneath my lids restlessly. The migraine pounds once more and I wince.
'What do they inject me with to sedate me this heavily,'  I huff annoyingly in my head.

Somewhere on my right side I hear movements. I keep my eyes closed thinking it must be the nurses coming to check up on me. A rough calloused hand,bigger than mine, holds mine gently. Then I hear a sigh. I get curious. This hand belongs to a man. A man am not familiar with. Is it George?

"Maria," the voice said. It was rough and emotionless. It was very deep and hoarse as if it was not used for a period of time. It was not George. His thumb was drawing soothing circles on my hand. I wanted to see him. It was like a pull was pushing me to open my eyes and see him. I opened my eyes slowly to avoid bright light from burning my eyes.

There he was. His jet black hair messily tousled on his head. His thin lips in a frown while his bushy eyebrows creased in concentration. His eyes were on the door while his shoulders tense and rigid. Where he sat, his leg was bouncing up and down with nervousness. He was still holding my hand and he was not aware I was watching him. His black compact boots were hidden under his ragged black jeans. The grey cotton T-shirt he wore fitted perfectly on his tanned muscular body. On his neck he had a dog tag and a thin golden chain with the letter R on it. Hot damn! He is mighty fine. I was staring when he continued speaking, I almost jumped when I thought he had seen me, but his eyes were still on the door.

"Am a man with a cold heart. I have nor give anyones feelings any regard or second thought. I have never apologised to anyone other than George in my entire life. Everyone is afraid of me,just the way I like it,including you. But seeing you...here...lying in hospital because of me....I felt something. I felt guilty.  Maria, am..Sorry...am really sorry for that night. I don't know if you can even forgive me but am asking you to..." he said again. His eyes held pain and sadness as the hand that wasn't holding mine clutched the golden chain. He squeezed my hand absent mindedly and I don't know what made me do what I did but I spoke," I forgive you Antony,"

He rose up from the bed in a speed of light with an audible gasp releasing my hand as if it burned him. His eyes were wide and alert with so much emotions running through them that I smiled softly. He suddenly shut the out putting that cold demeanor back.

"Why?" He finally asked after watching me.
I shrugged and answered carelessly,
"Why not?"
He continued staring at me while i did the same. I tilted my head to the left and he rose one of his bushy eyebrows in question.

I patted my bed telling him to come sit but he just shook his head no.
"Fine suit yourself. Can I atleast have some water," I asked.
He nodded and gave me a glass of water. Drinking it like a thirsty buffoon I quenched my thirst. He kept staring and it was making me nervous.
"Why you staring?" I asked shyly. In reply he just shook his head, again.
"Where is George?" I asked him. A sudden sadness filling my chest.
"He will be here soon. He went to get you food. Said food in here tasted like a pile of bricks,"Antony said looking at me intensely.
"More like a pile of shit, its like they want us to die instead of recovering," I said remembering the last dinner  I had. It was like eating cardboards. A small curve to his lips appeared but it disappeared just as quickly that I almost thought I imagined it. I sat on the bed making myself more comfortable.

He looked at the door then headed towards it. He turned then nodded towards me then left. Leaving me to my demonic thoughts. I started thinking how my life would have been without Dibali in it. Would my mother still be alive? Would I be happy? I know am comfortable with how my life is but am not happy. Am still depressed. Dibali ruined and broke me. Pieces of who I am are still back there. Thinking about him brings flashbacks that I haven't had in a while. One stands out proudly like a sore wound. A flashback that  almost had me end my life.