Crushed

Leave.

I had my arms around him, but as usual I felt nothing. I pulled myself closer to feel his beat, but in vain.

"Are you really leaving?", I could barely get out any words.

His announcement of leave left me shattered.

"I can't keep up with anything, plus, I've done what I had to do."

"No, Aiko...Stay."

"I have to leave...people will laugh if they get to know."

"Let them. I don't give a damn."

"You have the full right to stop me from going." 

I'm trying to...I am. But I can't.

"Please......don't go."

"I'll come back if I'm needed."

You know Aiko...You know very well. If I can let you go this easy, I can't summon you back. 

"But...I need you. I'll..."

"My contract's up,..." he leaned closer with a smirk on his face "Die-dre", God...I hated that smirk. I needed him, without him I'd be vulnerable to internal struggles...and I won't be able to cope with that.

"Don't worry...You'll find a Yin to your Yang soon enough", he said emotionless.

"But...you filter out reality...You can't be leaving me alone...I'm incapable and you know that."

He turned his back and halfway through leaving,  his image flickering between Frasher and himself, the only difference being the smile and the aura around it-

"I'm done." he said.

"You can still be yourself...with me. I don't understand...you can't just want to be some person loving another one and a whole other entity not. Why are you like this? It hurts."

I was speaking to a wall. He'd left a long time ago. Almost like he vanished, into thin air.

I'll never understand, I never did. Is it me who's imagining it this way? Is my mind that messed up? 

Did I cause this? 

I never knew that little messed up jokes would create a cold-hearted monster. It was all in good fun, I never meant for there to be blood. I do it all the time. It's satisfactory. 

All I did was show him a glimpse of my true self.

Was it because of me? I can't get rid of the thought...All I could do was stare at him.

I had a nagging feeling of 'He wasn't real...I could call him back.'

Oh god! This is all too confusing. 

Why is my mind this way? I don't understand. Can I get rid of it? 

He is imaginary...Isn't he?

WHAT IS UP WITH ME???

I walk towards the mirror that was conveniently placed on my right, and stared long and hard at my own reflection before I clutched and tugged at my hair and yelled. 

I had had enough with the confusion. I can't tell the difference between reality and fiction.

I stared at myself once again.

"Hey, tell me this is all a dream?"