Park and Ani

I wish I believed you

I don't know what I was expecting when I walked into the room, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting some other dude holding Imani's hand. I could already feel myself getting jealous, but the expression on her face instantly crushed my ego.

Hurt, anger, disappointment, they were all there dancing across her face. She looked different. She's a lot thinner now, her normal round cheeks slimmer and her collarbones were a lot more prominent. Her hair was another change. She wore her 4c ,she always complained about how difficult her 4c hair was to manage, Afro with pride, always willing to cut off someone's finger if they dared to touch it. In her words "I don't spend all this money on product, oils, shampoo, and conditioner for some asshole to come and mess it all up."

However, a large section of her pride and joy was buzzed right off, leaving her stitches exposed to the world.

"What are you doing here Parker," Chandler growls, his expression hardened.

It was only then that I realized that I was the target of several hate filled glares. Even Wes was glaring at me.

Ironically the only one who didn't look ready to castrate me was Imani, but the hurt on her face stung way more.

I knew I hurt her when I didn't come the first day, and I just dug the dagger deeper the longer I avoided seeing her.

It's not that I didn't want to see her, I just couldn't. It was like my body and mind rejected any thought of seeing her. Each morning I'd wake up telling myself that'd I'd go see her. 

That I'd apologize to her.

But each time I'd get ready to go see her, I'd find myself either at home or at practice.

For the past week I've constantly been at battle with myself, I knew that I needed to see her, but I wasn't willing to risk the consequences of seeing her.

 I was terrified.

 Not just of being cut from the team, but of coming to see the shell of the girl I fell in love with. I was terrified that she wouldn't be the Imani I knew, and that kept me away from her hospital room.

I avoided anything related to her, and that included the rest of our group. Seeing as they were all pretty pissed with me, avoiding them wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. The only one who didn't seem to share their resolve was Wes, and avoiding him took more of a toll on me than I expected.

He would call, and text, and try to catch me sometime in school, but I brushed off all his attempts. Even when he would try to fill me in on how she was doing. Eventually he stopped coming around and I had no one to blame but myself.

"Parker. Why. Are. You. Here." Chandler reiterated, his words gritty due to his clenched teeth.

I pulled my eyes from hers, wringing my hands together.

"I came to check on Ma- Imani," I choked out.

I hear Blake scoff and the room settled into an uncomfortable silence.

"Why now," Imani whispered, her attention now on her hands joined in her lap.

Not gonna lie, I relaxed a little when I saw her let go of the other dude's hand.

"What do you mean?"

"Why come after over a week of avoiding me? What fucking changed Parker?"

She looked up and the hurt on her face knocked the wind out of me. My words died in my throat when I saw her eyes start to well with tears before she started rapidly blinking to keep herself from crying.