Park and Ani

I can't be sure anymore

"So y'all are good now?"

Rolling my eyes for the umpteenth time that afternoon I nod my head before stealing another one of Khalil's fries. Grumbling he moves his plate out the way just for Wes to reach over and steal a fry for himself. Snickering at his annoyed face I poke his side knowing that he's extremely ticklish and earn myself a warning glance from him. He was even kind enough to throw in one of his classic 'I'm trying not to laugh' smiles. 

One of my favorites.

"Honestly I feel like all of this could be so much easier if Khalil just went to our school." Chandler pipes up, finally disconnecting from the straw of his milkshake.

Not that I blame him. Mitch's has some kick ass milkshakes, a sophomore year me can attest to that. Considering that was the year I gained twenty pounds from constantly gulping the sugary devils down. I almost gave in to chunky Imani's wishes and ordered my typical salted Carmel milkshake, but one look at my old school ID instantly snapped me out of it.

"It might be easier for conversations, but I happen to like my school."

At his response everyone at the table simultaneously snorts making him slump in his seat.

"You guys are assholes Creekside is a cool place, plus we always kick your ass in track, so I don't want to hear it," he grumbles before snatching a wing off my plate.

Pushing my plate over to his greedy hands I turn giving my full attention to the one person who's been staring at me this whole time.

"Yes Park?"

Seeming to just realize he was staring, he jumps at the sudden acknowledgment before his face floods with color.

Classic Parker.

Clearing his throat, he glances around, finally relaxing when he realizes no one at the table is tuning into our small conversation.

"Sorry, didn't even realize I was staring."

Chuckling slightly, I pat his arm before offering him a childish grin.

"It's normal you've always been a bit of a stalker Parker." I laugh

"Only towards you though," he mutters and I'm sure he didn't intend for me to hear it.

But I did.

 I heard him loud and clear.

Retracting my hand from his arm, his head whips up and its clear on his expression that he realizes that I heard him. His expression shocked and embarrassed, eyes wide as a deer in headlights.

Instead of offering him an understanding smile, I take the coward way out.

I turn the other way, pleading with my heart to stop pounding so hard.

*************************************************

"You've been quiet this whole car ride Ani," Blake drawls, turning the stereo down to be heard over Tyler the Creators gravelly voice.

"Have I?" I mutter picking with my hangnails.

I know the second she gets a glimpse of my face she'll have a pretty good idea on what's going on in my head.

"You picked the wrong best friend if you think I'm letting you off that easy," she chuckles before pulling into a parks parking lot.

"Blake." I whine hoping she'll let it go.

"Imani," she mocks.

Smart ass.

Rolling my eyes, I look up from my nails to meet her pestering glare.

"What's eating at you buttercup?"

Laughing I shake my head at her stupid nickname, and she smiles in victory knowing that once she makes me laugh, any 'tea' I have is about to be spilt.

Sighing I tug on one of my curls thinking of a way to phrase what's going on in my head in a way that won't make her flip out.

"I'm being a chicken."

"Obviously, I saw that cringe worthy interaction between you and Parker."

Whipping my head up I nearly laugh at her bored expression. Leave it to her to make me realize I'm probably overreacting.

"Anyways, you little turd, I don't know how to really talk to him anymore. Like yes there was a point that I thought I could be falling for him, but I don't think I feel that way."

Her bored expression melts away and her interest has clearly been peaked.

"You 'think' just a couple weeks ago you knew you didn't feel that way."

"I know, and I'm basically positive that I have a thing for Khalil now, but it's just weird now with Parker being around again. It was easy to ignore and come to terms with what happened between the two of us when he wasn't around."

One look at her makes it clear that we both understand what I'm trying to say.

It's hard for me to be sure I'm over him.

Too hard.

"So, do you think you guys will, I don't know, start back over."

Before I can register it, I feel myself shaking my head no.

"Imani you aren't making sense."

Groaning, I bury my hands in my hair before yanking them out at the realization that I'm ruining the twist out that took me three hours to do two nights ago.

"I know I'm not making sense. I know I like Khalil, that isn't even a question for me anymore. He makes me feel everything I felt toward Parker but ten times more, but like there's still a part of me that has these 'what if's' running through my mind about Parker."

Burying my face in my hands, I wait for Blake to hit me with some realness and smack me out of my never-ending pattern of overthinking.

Her silence forces me to lift my head from my hands and the expression on her face isn't the one I was hoping to see. She's just as confused as I am.

"So, you like Khalil?"

I nod.

"You want to be with Khalil, especially now that you're not overly worried about your aneurisms since the one that was a huge threat isn't a thing anymore."

I nod again.

"You don't want to hurt Khalil?"

"Of course, I don't."

She nods seeming to be thinking of her next question.

"Was it like this when you were fresh from cutting Eli off?"

I shake my head. It's nowhere near as easy as it was with Eli. It's easy to cut off a good for nothing fuckboy, but no one told me letting go of feelings for a genuinely good guy was as hard as it was.

"Do you still have feelings for Parker? Even if it's just like a tiny little bit."

I pause.

I want to shake my head, everything in me has me wanting to shake my head, but for whatever reason I hesitate for a second.

Before I finally shake my head.

"No, I don't."

I think that's the truth, but I can't be sure anymore.

...................................................................................................

Hey there! 

I don't do authors notes often, mostly cause I'm lazy. 

But I was thinking of making a little playlist for this book, I already have a few songs in mind but I'm not sure haha. 

Leave a comment if you'd want one to kind of go along with the story or not.