Love Rage

Chapter 3: Some motherly love always comes in handy

I had to thank them. They had made me waste my two dollars worth of popcorn that were now scattered on the floor back at the park.

I kept on running, without keeping track were my legs were taking me, or the time I had been running. My chest now ached, honestly I really wasn't that fit, but the adrenaline was spreading through my veins like wildfire, so I just kept on running. I could feel tears stream down my face. Oh crap, and I thought I was starting to feel better.

I still couldn't believe them. I could've sworn it was obvious I was hurt, I had though it was obvious I felt broken inside. And I realized they could've noticed, I realized they knew, but they carried on, letting their love for each other grow every minute. I could feel I had been stabbed another time on my back, but this time even harder.

Far away,probably two blocks away, I saw my house and I slowed down. Now that I wasn't that full of adrenaline anymore, the tears and the anguish got the best of me. I steadied myself with the front door, letting my sobs become stronger, still letting my chest dramatically rise up and down, up and down.

I almost fell on my face. My mom welcomed me with a worried look at the other side of the door. This time I wouldn't avoid her, this time I would pour out my feelings. Right now she was the only person that I felt like would listen to all my rant, the only person that could truly understand my teenage problems.

"Mom" I said in a whimpering tone, and I broke down even further, wrapping my arms around her, sobbing on her shoulder.

"Oh, Avril, what happened, what's wrong sweetie?" She said in a warm tone, that made me feel even worse. I just felt so worthless, and I didn't want to do anything else but stay in her arms forever. I felt as though if I let go off her, the reality would come crashing down on me again, crushing me under its heavy weight.

I tried to bring myself to tell her, but I was crying so hard and panting and sobbing so bad I could hardly speak. What came out sounded something like "Anth...ooo...ny....Saman...tha....broken....heart....MOM!"

After my attempt at speaking, I sobbed again, embracing myself in another warm hug, letting her try to understand what I had just said.

I looked at her eyes, seeing her eyebrows arch in a worried motherly look. She brushed my temples with her thumbs, softly rubbing the tension a way, at least slightly. She combed down my hair with her slender fingers, shushing softly, trying to calm me down some more.

"Let's go inside, honey. Try to calm down and then we will talk about what happened. In the meantime, I'll prepare you some tea and a snack. Food is always good for these situations" I wanted to cry harder after she said that. Not because I didn't like tea, but because I now felt so grateful to have a mom like her. I regretted ignoring her earlier in the afternoon, maybe if I had just gone straight to her everything would have turned out just a bit better.

I entered the house, letting the coziness of it wrap around me. I sat down by the couch, closing my eyes as I tried to steady my breathing. And since I was such a mess and an epic fail, I just made it worse. Breathing became harder. But then, I saw my mother's face by the kitchen. She was a strong woman, and I had never realized that.

Her life had been tough, I realized as my breathing thankfully became slower. My dad worked for the army, and he was always going here and there, and every time he left the front door, I could notice my mom hold her breath, praying to God nothing bad would happen to him. It was also hard for me, but as a young person, I had easily become used to it, but it hadn't been that easy for mom. She was strong as iron, I knew as I saw her pour hot water into a mug. If only I could be like her right now, but every time I tried, every time I focused when I closed my eyes, I just saw them again, brushing lips like there was no tomorrow, and that broke me down, it snapped my heart as if it were a thin branch of a dried tree.