Love Rage

Chapter 11: Kisses like droplets, tears like rain.

So. I've never been good at poetry. At least not that I remember being good at it. You may say, "Why in the world is Avril talking about poetry, after one of the worst mistakes she will ever make in her entire pathetic life?". Well, truth be told, I don't know either. But I guess poetry brings back those cheesy movie scenes when the couple kisses and then angels start chanting poetry out of the heavens.

But that doesn't mean I am declaring that me and Ryan kissed in the infirmiary in front of at least 5 school cameras, that could ulitmately demand us for PDA, because that's not what happened.

His tongue was literally down my throat. That's what happened.

And I don't even why I didn't stop him. I don't know if it was all the elctrons that decided to wake up and course through my veins like wildfire, or simply the facts that his hands brushing through my arms reassured that all the pressure I was feeling was there for nothing at all.

But, in the end, I think I kissed him back because it meant something.

The new side of him he had unveiled was something I would've never expected him to do, specially for me. Honestly, I had never cosidered myself valuable enough to be as important for someone to do that.

Yes. That's why I didn't stop him. Because he made me feel like I was worth something, even if that declaration was expressed through something as simple as a kiss.

A hand brushed my cheek as softly as a feather. My insides shriveled at his touch. It was ethereal. Light, but valuable. My hands went cold, as did my feet. My vision darkened around the edges just to focus on his face. Who could've thoguht such a jerk, could suddenly become such a prince?

And that's the main reason why reputations suck. They just, simply and utterly suck. You think that whatever is hidding inside that mask is worthles, and that al the adornation you see on the outide is all you will ever get to see, and essentially, judge with cold prejudice.

And now I realize that's what people have done with Ryan. Yes, he may not be the world's most astonishing knight in shinning armor, but even though it's rusted along the edges, the important part is that it's still strong and honest. And I value those bruises, because it's who he is.

"Avril? Say something?" I'm giving up on you.

Why am I making song references?

I can't think straight. All I can think about are his warm, soft hands clasped lovingly around my forearm, how the touch of his skin on mine is endearingly electrifying. His smell is wrapping without mercy around me, forcing me to take a sip of him.

So that is exactly what I do. I sniff.

Maybe just too loudly.

"Wait just a second there... Did you just sniff me?"

I can't help it. I let out a shaky laugh, which slowly becomes histeric. I can feel my chest move up and down as my head buzzes with nervous giggles. I'm so nervous I'm laughing.

My hand flies up to my eyes which are already watering with tears from the embarassment and the pontless amusement. I wipe off the tears with the edge of my shirt, trying to disguise how stupid I look. Here, let be another reason why I don't wear make-up.

The laughs stop bouncing off the room. I control my awkwardness. I hear silence for what seems like an eternity, but is then disturbed by the sound of male giggles.

Ryan is laughing.

"I didn't know my laugh sounded that stupid." I suggested, trying to stop his laughter and get him to talk to me after a kiss that could change the way we look at each other.

"It's not that Avril. It's just that we are both trapped in a deep bowl of shit."

"I'm sorry, why is that so funny?"

"Because..." he paused, probably trying to stiffle back the laughs. His eyes soften, and little wrinkles frame his face, "we are both stuck on it and there is no way out. It stinks."

"That was totally not a good joke, just so you know."

Everything seemed to play in slow motion. His eyes stopped crinkling, and his smile toned down to an angelical grin. His shoulders didn't convulse and his eyes sparkled in contrast with the fluorescent infirmary light. A spring scented aroma seemed to float and soak into my every pore. It felt like I was walking on sily rose petals.

And there is the cheesy poetry.

"I know, it's just that my jokes aren't as good when I'm around you. I don't have the time or mind to process the because all I can ever think about is you."

My hands and legs gave up on me. It was as though my body had become jelly, like those you often see exhibited behind the glass in grocery shops. My head was ringing, and even though the only reason I heard bees inside my head was because I was nervous, I didn't feel like that. Nervous, I mean. I felt surprised but not so much at the same time. 

My heart was beating fastly, almost denying to stop. All there was was him. Ryan. 

He grabbed my hand, and brushed his fingers in circles around my palm. You would think that a football player like him would have rough and stone-like hands, but they were surprisingly soft. He was grabbing my hands as though they were delicate Chinese porcelain, and even though I felt fragile, I knew that with him around me I would never break.

I tried to put words together, but as simple as it sounds, I just didn't know what to say. My brain was just out of battery. It had literally lost the capability to talk or think.

"And I know that I don't seem like the cheesy guy or the kind that would just declare, but Avril, I've had feelings for sometime and," he paused. I wanted those words, I needed to hear them, maybe to reasure me that what I had just done 5 minutes ago hadn't been the biggest mistake of my life. "Shit, I can't say it, I've never said it."

Maybe I didn't need to hear them, maybe words weren't necessary in this occation. 

I don't know what drived me to do it, but before I knew it, I was standing on my feet and this time I knew exactly what had happened.

I had done it. I had kissed the hottest guy in school. 

Ryan.

The door slammed open.

"When I said I went for medicine, I didn't mean I willingly gave you permission to make out on the infirmiary." A southern accent explained.

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Hello there :) So another chapter has gone by and I know they are short but I hope they are enough to satisfy your hunger for at least another week.

What do you think about Ryan? What are your predictions on what is going to happen?

Please let me know and dont forget to vote if you liked this chapter and comment  ^_^