Under The Colored Lights

What Is Love - MAMA

The night was nothing new to Sehun, as he was used to rising and making coffee at early hours. He totally forgot that Minseok was in the same trailer now, and unfortunately let out a less than manly screech when he turned and Minseok was standing behind him.

"Jesus Minseok, make some noise!" He dropped honorifics in terror, and Minseok grumbled something about being respectful before he reached over to pour himself a cup.

"You're assuming you're allowed to have coffee from my trailer," Sehun muttered from behind his cup, but the death glare he got in response shut him up.

"Coffee or you're going to get dropped later if I'm half asleep during training." Minseok threatened, and Sehun quickly inched away. Noted, he gets up early but needs coffee.

By the time they both felt somewhat alive, they got fixed up briefly and made their way to their respective training areas. Sehun dropped Minseok off with Feng before leaving to tend to the wolves. Minseok felt skeptical as he watched the younger leave him, but Feng quickly assured him that Sehun would return.

"He's got two acts. He's an animal trainer alongside the trapeze act, and you'll learn to get along with his animals as well." Feng explained as he led Minseok through the ropes and pointed out the different elements of the trapeze acts.

"I assure you, the kid is a natural at what he does. Try to understand him more. He might look old but he's still quite shy and confused about his place in the world as many of the people here are." Feng continued as he left a strong flexible rope in Minseok's hands, and Minseok tested it, debating whether it could hypothetically hold his given weight class.

"I wasn't aware that was how the circus worked," he stated after he got comfortable holding the rope, "You chose this life didn't you?" he eyed Feng as the said ring master dusted off his podium.

Feng was silent for a while, his face not giving away the apprehension that he was feeling being so talkative with Minseok. He was debating on telling Minseok that they were basically a family, but he didn't think Minseok was quite ready because obviously, he didn't understand the bond.

"If you're curious," Minseok turned his head at the sound of what he recognized to be Tao leaning against a pillar nearby, "The lifestyle chose us. We were all disadvantaged in some way, but we refuse to see it as such. What Feng over here wants to say is that we are an island of misfit toys, we don't belong on anyone's shelves. We are beautiful in our own way, but we are also untouchable. Children love toys, but they can only watch and never touch us. We are higher than they are, we are stronger than they are, we are one. By shunning society and it's conforming standards, we can start anew and be reborn in our glory. But what would you know hyung? It's quite difficult to understand, especially with your stance in life right?"

Minseok's hairs stood on end as he observed the feline resembling man sashaying away in a walk only Tao himself could pull off, and then he turned back to Feng.

"What does he mean by my stance?" Minseok couldn't help but feel defensive, and Feng rolled his eyes.

"Isn't it obvious little cat? You're not a freak like us. It's quite obvious to see when you were around the rest of my troupe. There's something normal about you, something that doesn't make you automatically feared or shunned. Your normality is what makes you want to be something more?"

Each word struck another chord in Minseok's shaking heart, and he gripped the rope tightly in his hand as he contemplated the words both Tao and Li Feng had spoken towards him. He hadn't thought of this in such a light before. He assumed that it would be a welcome change to his horribly normal lifestyle, waking up, going to college, holding a boring job, repeat. He felt like he was too normal, and Li Feng was obviously onto something.

"I hadn't thought of it in that manner." Minseok finally found himself confessing, and Li Feng's gaze softened immediately.

"My good boy, you have much to learn. It won't be easy once you abandon your normal life. You can never fully get that back once you leave with us. Are you willing to enter such an unknown area in your life?"

Minseok had never been so sure of anything in his life. Is this what Sehun had felt when he had joined? Minseok had never stopped to ask about the younger man, but he felt like he needed to truly experience his world; he wanted to do it because he wanted to be brave like him. So Minseok nodded, his eyes promising to truly open himself up to the world of the circus for eternity.

Feng smiled to himself, obviously reading the same signs Minseok had hoped to convey through his eyes.

"I see your honesty little cat. Welcome to our show, the Exo'luxion. Let's do our best, for all our sake."